Til After Forever
by madamada-chan
Summary: After overexerting his empathy, Hisoka loses his memories. He and Tsuzuki are then finally given a much deserved vacation, but a chance meeting with a mysterious boy throws them into another job. [Updated! After, what, two years? :is bricked:]
1. Prologue

     Say . . . what if Hisoka lost his memory and was told that Tsuzuki was his _koibito_? (side note: This author is really beginning to lose it. . . 'it=sanity') This was the thought that struck me and made me write a new fic. I think no one has tried this before (???) So I dared the challenge. Hehehe. . I added a bit of Hisoka losing his memory, because I think Tsuzuki will never have the courage to confess his feelings. So once again, some coworkers step in and help. You find out for yourself who they are . .  . ^_~  

Sorry if the later chapters might come out slowly, it's because I'm working two fics right now (three if you count the other that's non-yami) T.T I'm really, really sorry. 

Also, I'm sorry for the grammatical errors. English just isn't my first language. Third or second I think . . . *shrugs*

Thanks to my ever-wonderful beta-reader psy-chan!!! *heart* I know my writing is much MUCH worse without your help. DOMO ARIGATOU~~~~!!!!! *glomps psy-chan*

And so . . . the curtains open. . 

**~*~ Til After Forever ~*~**

**Prologue**

     It's really no wonder that my partner calls me an idiot. I mean, look at me. Know what I'm doing right now? I'm running, not just anywhere, but on the halls of _EnMaCho_! I could almost imagine Tatsumi . . . Oh boy, if he sees me now, he'll have my coffin done by tomorrow. Not a very scary thought considering I'm dead and all, but so is Tatsumi. Trust me, a shinigami has the power to kill another shinigami, so friendly advice folks! NEVER make an enemy of a powerful deathgod, and shadow masters fall under that category.

     Ouch! I guess I bumped into someone. See me gracefully fall to the ground face first. I'm praying to all known deities that it isn't Tatsumi. I look up. It's Tatsumi. Uh-oh! He looks like he's about to unleash the fury of hell on me.

     "Tsuzuki-san, just what on _EnMa's_ name do you think you're doing?"

     *gulp* His voice is calm, and I don't like that. He only uses that kind of tone on the accountants when we're over-budget (mainly because of yours truly), and on Watari whenever the lab explodes. You know, it has a hidden message behind it screaming 'I want to kill you, as in right now.' 

     I'm hoping with every ounce of my existence that I can charm my way out of this. Okay, calm down Tsuzuki. Just stand up, there you go. Smile! Smile!

     "O. . . Ohayou! Tatsumi. I was . . . um . . . well. . ." 

     Really, why doesn't it surprise me that I'm stammering and sweating all over? 

     He simply raises an eyebrow. Alarm bells go ringing on my head. I bet I'm about to receive a full-blown scolding from _EnMaCho's_ beloved secretary that's enough to last my entire afterlife.

     But NO! I really have no time for this. Beam wider and force a smile. I think my face looks hilarious with a distorted look torn between a guilty smile and a panicked expression. 

     "Sorry Tatsumi, but . . . gotta go!"

     And I instantaneously scamper away from him, before he gets angrier. Okay, forget it. He DID get more furious because even now that I'm two floors away form him, I can still hear him screaming at me. Um, I kind of accidentally hit him and made him drop the stack of papers he was holding, I think those were the accounts that he did some adjustments to just this past few weeks. So, here's another survival tip, NEVER go near Tatsumi when he's carrying a stack of papers that happen to be the accountant's ledgers.

     Perfect. What a wonderful way to start the day. But I know it'll get better. Heehee. Especially once I see him. 

**~)-0-(~**

     Phew! I made it! I skid to a halt in front of the door to the infirmary. My hand's trembling as I reach for the doorknob. It's just. . . I'm so excited! Watari told me that my partner would wake up any time today. I softly open the door and walk in as quietly as I can. 

     Watari's already inside and greets me with his ever-childlike smile as soon as I enter. 

     "Ohayou, Tsuzuki-san!"

     "Ohayou!" I answer with a _genki _grin.

     Then I turn my attention at once to the figure lying on the bed. He still looks a bit pale, no doubt because of his lack of proper food and being bedridden for such a long time. He looks a lot smaller now, or much thinner I mean. (It's not like he's shrinking) Nevertheless he looks better than when I first brought him here. 

     "His breathing is more stable now and with a bit more of much-needed rest, he'll feel a lot better." Watari said, laying a hand on my shoulder reassuringly.

     I sigh in relief. He's been unconscious for almost a month now. I guess the last assignment wore him out pretty badly. It's my fault though. If only I had been more careful, then it shouldn't have been necessary for Hisoka to do that to save my ass. I should've just. . .

     "Nnnn . . ." 

     A very soft and weak moan escape his lips, but loud enough to bring me back to reality. 

     "Hisoka . . ."

     I gently take his smaller hand into my own and clasp it between my warm palms. He blearily opens his eyes, and, awwww. . . he's so adorable. Emeralds meet amethysts as the first person he sees upon waking up is me. 

     "HISOKA~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!" I wasn't able to hold myself back form glomping him. How much did I miss my dear partner? I haven't realized that until now that he's back. I mean, sure, all the time he was just here in the infirmary, but it's always different when I can be with him and he's talking to me and he cutely scowls at me and he screams at me and he walks with me and OUCH!!!!!

     There's a big lump on my head. Where did _that_ come from? I look at Hisoka only to see his eyebrows twitching . . . and fist tightly clenched. 

     "I can't breathe you idiot." 

     See? I told you he's adorable. 

     My famous puppy ears sprout and inu-chibi Tsuzuki strikes again. 

     "_Hidoi na_~~~" I whine.    

     "Where . . . am I? What am I doing here?" 

     Now that startled me. Why would Hisoka wonder where he is when he's supposed to be familiar with _EnMaCho's_ infirmary by now? I mean, hey, he's been working here for almost two years now and it's not exactly less than often that he ends up here. I'm not saying it's his fault or something, but Hisoka, aside from having died young, also has quite a weak health. Shhhh!!!! Don't EVER let it out that I said that. EVER!!!

     Anyway, he might still be dazed so, I'll just tell him.

     "Hisoka, you're in the infirmary. How are you feeling?" I ask him with the gentlest smile I can give.

     "Well. . ."

     "_Oi_, Tsuzuki! Kachou wants to see you." Terazuma calls from outside, not even bothering to see if I heard him at all.

     Argh! What a perfect time to interrupt. Why now?

     "But . . . but. . ."

     Come on! Think Tsuzuki think! There should be something, any lame excuse would do! 

     "Go on Tsuzuki, its okay. I'll take care of bon for now."

     Watari's voice startled me. I didn't even notice that he was here the entire time.

     "But . . . but. . ." I still insist.

     "If you don't go to the staff meeting in time, Tatsumi might get mad." 

     Now THAT made another set of alarm bells ring on my head. After what happened this morning, I don't think it'll be a good idea to give Tatsumi another reason to be mad. 

     "I promise, I'll come back as soon as I can." I say, holding Hisoka's hand.

     And I dash out of the infirmary and into the meeting room.

**~)-0-(~**

     "Well, it seems that we're complete now, except for Kurosaki-kun and Watari who are in the infirmary at the moment." Kachou announces upon seeing me walk in. 

     He gestures to Tatsumi and the staff meeting begins.

     "Due to the hectic schedule of the people involved, this meeting was delayed. Now, it's called for to hear the reports of Tsuzuki-san and Kurosaki-kun about the latest case they've handled. However, since Kurosaki-kun is not present at the moment, we will only have Tsuzuki-san's report."

     He looks at my direction and signals for me to begin. Oh good, it looks like he's not mad anymore. 

     It's funny that I feel nervous about giving a report on my own. Maybe I got too used to having Hisoka by my side all the time.

     So I give them a brief summary of what happened. 

     "To put it succinctly, we were assigned to go to _Chijou_ to handle a case dealing with strange disappearances and mysterious deaths of those who went missing, as usual. Apparently, the creature behind this was somehow able to mentally manipulate those people into committing suicide so it can feed off the anguish and bitterness of its victims, slowly sucking up their souls. This explains why the names of the victims appeared in the _kiseki_, but their souls were never found. That creature devoured them all." I end it at that; I can't find the strength to continue knowing what they'll ask next. 

     Kachou looks pensive, and Tatsumi seems like he's still processing in his mind everything I've said, as if he's spotted something wrong . . . or missing. 

     Kachou speaks up, finally breaking the silence.

     "Alright, that would suffice. I'll just summon you to my office if I need some more information. For now, go back to your partner. I hear that he's already awake." 

     I started at what Kachou just said. I know that he has already been informed of what happened during our actual encounter with the soul eater, but he left it at that. Maybe he doesn't want to bring it up anymore. Thank goodness. I think I don't have the energy to talk about it just yet.

    "Hai." I nod simply, then go out of the staff room and head to the infirmary. The thought of my partner washes away all the tension I've been feeling since back at the meeting.

**~)-0-(~**

     I walk into the infirmary only to be ushered out by Watari.

     "Tsuzuki-san, I need to talk to you for a minute."

     He looks around the hallway then opens the door to an office right across the infirmary. We go inside and he starts to explain.

     "Tsuzuki-san, tell me and be honest about it. What happened in your last case?" 

     Watari . . . I've never heard this serious tone from him, except when once I nearly did something to hurt Hisoka. Come to think of it, maybe that's it. This time, again, I almost had Hisoka killed.

     It's hard for me to do this, but Watari's voice sounds like it's crucial. So I take a deep breath and spill it out to him.

     "Before I went to confront the enemy, I told Hisoka to stay at the apartment instead. I didn't want to risk him being exposed to that soul eater, because knowing its capability, I was sure that Hisoka's empathy would make him very vulnerable to it. Naturally, he didn't agree, so I poured some sleeping powder in his tea. He started to feel drowsy right after he drank. Honestly, I didn't know it was that strong. But anyway, he fell asleep at once and I carried him to bed."

     For a moment, remembering the feel of Hisoka in my arms makes me smile, and then I continue.

     "After that, I left him there and went out to confront that soul eater. The thought of more victims having their souls devoured made me want to puke."

     I clench my fist upon remembering all those whose souls would never be able to rest in peace. 

     "When I came face-to-face with it, I realized at once why its victims were driven to madness. Memories that haunted me all came back and flooded into my mind. I couldn't stand it. But it was only momentary. Suddenly I felt a kind of warmth envelope me, as if shielding me from the creature's power. Then I knew at once what it was and who it was from. Hisoka was there, he was extremely exhausted and kept his arm on the wall for support. He looked at me fleetingly then nodded. I took that opportunity to attack and in a few moments, the creature was down. Or so I thought. . ."

     I feel like I want to stop already. I really don't want to relive this anymore . . . but I muster all the determination I have inside and force myself to continue.

     "I rushed to Hisoka's side at once, him being my first priority. He was panting so hard. All the searching and staying up late during the entire mission, and at that very moment using his empathy like that to protect me, were slowly taking its toll. He must've been pushing himself to his limits just to stay conscious."

      And the fact that I gave him a sleeping powder earlier wasn't helping either.

     "Just then, Hisoka abruptly got up and set up a shield. The soul eater was up and it rapidly attacked us. I tried to counter-attack again, but physical attacks were useless. It just kept on getting up after each time I tried to kill it. Hisoka then suggested that after I subdue it and weaken it to some extent, he'd seal it instead. And so he did, and I realized too late that he combined his spiritual powers and empathy to do so. He figured out that the only way to completely block that creature from using its ability was to seal it with his empathy. Right after dealing with it, he collapsed into my arms."        

     Watari looks deep in thought as he ponders about everything I've said. After a very long moment of silence, he speaks again, looking at me straight in the eyes.

     "Tsuzuki-san, I'm afraid that bon might've overloaded his empathy upon doing so, and now he's facing the consequences. He doesn't remember anything. It seems he lost his memories as an effect of overusing his ability."

     My eyes are currently concentrating at an invisible spot on the floor. I can't speak; I don't know what to say. I've done it again. I put Hisoka in trouble again . . . all because of my own carelessness.

     Hisoka, I'm so sorry.

=^w^= I really don't have a concrete plot for this yet. *shrugs* But the idea is more or less formed on my head already. And it's a great help too that random scenes are popping up every now and then. 

Comments and all will be appreciated. @_@

**~)-0-(~**

Translations:

Ø _Ohayou_ ~ "Good Morning"

Ø _genki_ ~ cheerful

Ø _Hidoi na_ ~ (that's) so mean

Ø _Oi_ ~ Hey!

Ø _Chijou_ ~ land of the living

Ø _kiseki_ ~ death list

Ø _ne_ ~ commonly used expression (?); I can't think of an English equivalent T.T

Ø _koibito ~ _lover   

(If I made mistakes in my translations, please feel free to correct me. It'll be much appreciated. =^w^=)


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

After talking to me, Watari stepped out of the room at once and went back to tend to Hisoka. I, on the other hand, stayed motionless for a very long minute. He reassured me that Hisoka's already out of critical condition and is already on the stage of recovery, and that he only needs a bit more rest. He'll be released from the infirmary three days from now too. That's a relief. But, I know how it feels to have an empty space in your mind. I myself don't remember anything about those eight years before I died, and it feels awful. No matter how much I force myself to remember, there's absolutely nothing. . . just a dark void. 

I'm walking at a very slow rate towards the infirmary. It feels like I'm not really walking at all, but more like dragging my feet with iron balls chained to them. I feel so heavy. And the infirmary feels so far away, even if it's just exactly eight steps across the doorframe that I'm standing on. 

Damn it all, what have you done this time, Tsuzuki no baka! 

That's right. . . what have I done to my partner again. . .?

After what seems like hours, which was actually just two minutes, of walking thousands of millimeters towards the infirmary's cheap wooden door (*ahem* I'm happy Tatsumi didn't hear the word cheap), I grab the doorknob, then release it again because of the sudden hesitation that came to my mind. 

What if. . . what if Hisoka doesn't want to see me right now? What if he wants to be alone? Surely, at his state, he _needs_ company. . . but knowing Hisoka, he wouldn't _want_ it. He'd prefer to be by himself and handle this all on his own. He's probably mad at me, blaming me for what happened to him. It _was_ my fault after all, and he's smart enough to know that. Then again, that's impossible though, because in the first place he doesn't remember anything, and Hisoka's definitely not the blaming type. Argh! I hate thinking too much like this. Alright, I'll just leave him alone for now. 

After five whole minutes of standing in front of the door, I turn my heel and start to walk away. It only took me three steps to turn back and stand in front of the infirmary's door, again. I really, badly need to see him. Okay, I'm exaggerating. I just want to see how he's doing now. At a time like this, Hisoka needs me more than anything. . . and anyone. 

Softly open the door, then walk in with a smile, yup! That's what I'll do. So I turn the knob and quietly walk in so that I don't disturb Hisoka in case he's sleeping. He's awake. Watari's checking his condition. I think. He's talking to him in soft whispers, then turns and leave. He stops to whisper something into my ear for a moment.

"I'll leave you two alone for a while. Take care of him _ne_?" 

He walks on, then stops for a minute and grabs my sleeve.

"Oh wait! Before I forget. . . I already filled him in on some things, like the _shinigami_ stuff, but. . ."

He lowers his voice even more to something much softer than a whisper, but with a warning tone.

"I left the part about Muraki out. I think it's not a good idea to remind him about that just yet." 

I give him a really warmhearted smile him for that.

"_Sankyuu_. . . Watari."

And he answers with a beam.

"Anything for bon _ne_?" he says with a wink. 

So I walk towards Hisoka's bed. His pillows are positioned into a comfortable position and he's leaning on them as he sits. He's staring out the window, into the sunset. His deep green eyes are iridescent, softly reflecting the sunlight. He doesn't even seem to be aware that someone's approaching him. I extend my hand and gently grasp his shoulder, making him softly gasp. He looks at me with surprised eyes for a moment, then breathes a relaxed sigh.

"Tsuzuki, isn't it? You must be my partner."

I give him what seems to be the warmest smile I've ever shown.

"_Aa. Daijoubu ka?_" I ask, while settling myself on the side of his bed. 

"_Saa_. . . Still a bit dizzy, but I think I'll manage." He replies, still as casual about his health as before. 

_'Taku _sometimes I really wish that Hisoka will be more conscious about his condition. I mean, he's just too reckless. He keeps jumping into just about anything. He doesn't even care if it'll lead him straight into his second death! He's selfless, I know that, but why can't he give just a little more value to his life. . .? Right. Like _I_ should talk. Me, who had successfully committed suicide more than seventy years ago, even after eight years of failed attempts. 

I think I got too lost in my pitiful thoughts coz I jump as I hear Hisoka's soft, pained voice.

"_Ya. . . yamete._ Tsuzuki. . ." he coughs out.

Hisoka's clutching my sleeve, and his eyebrows are creased with a frown. A thin layer of sweat is visible on his forehead.

_Baka baka Tsuzuki! Hontou ni bakero!!! _I should have known better than that. My emotions always tend to get too strong for Hisoka. I close the small distance between us and wrap my arms around him, stroking his hair soothingly. I love the feel of his hair. . . so soft. . . and so intoxicating to touch. It feels like, whenever I touch it, I don't want to let go. A silly metaphor really, but it's also the same with all of Hisoka. . . whenever I keep him in my arms like this. . . I just wish I would never have to let go.

"_Gomen ne_, Hisoka. _Gomen ne_. . ." I whisper softly to his ear.

"_Betsuni._ Watari-san told me about this. . . ability. Empathy or something. . . So this is how it feels, being able to sense other people's emotions." 

Then he pulls away.

"It's strange though. It's supposed to be intensified by physical contact, but with you, it feels so. . . natural. It's as if your feelings are flowing steadily into me, not crushing me in its sudden intrusion." Hisoka tells me with questioning eyes.

"It's because I can shield. I only let you feel those things that you need to feel, and not those that might hurt you." I say calmly, to ease his discomfort.

"I see. . . I hope I can do that too."

"You can. You just have to learn it all over again." Just like the hundred other things you have yet to rediscover.

And he sighs in relief.

Just as I expected. He's too easy to figure out, Hisoka. I've known him long enough to know when something's bothering him, and what I have to do about it. However, there are still a lot of things I have yet to uncover about this mysterious partner of mine. 

Like how he really feels for me.

But that will have to wait. For now, my priority is to help him gain back his memories. I really have to be very gentle with him from now on, especially because somehow, I'm the only one among us who understands what he's going through. And also, being his partner, I'm the one who knows him best. Truth be told, Hisoka never opened up to anyone else in the entire _Meifu_ as much as he did to me. That's Hisoka for you. He'll never let anyone pass through his thick barriers, heck, even _I_ had to be really persistent before he let me in. 

No one can blame him though. He had a rough life. Not to mention a much worse. . . death. Oooops! Shields up! I can't let him see through that. Watari will kill me. Okay, change the topic.

"Say Hisoka, you want something to eat?" I say, with the first thing that comes into my mind. . . FOOD!

"_Iie_." He answers, softly shaking his head. "I'm not really hungry right now."

"You never were." I pout.

"Look if _you're_ hungry, go out and eat. I just don't have the appetite right now." He says with a sigh. A weary sigh. . .? 

"Hisoka. . . is there something wrong? C'mon, say it. You know you can ask me, or tell me, anything." I ask anxiously. 

He stares out the window again. I continue to look at him inquisitively. 

Then he finally speaks.

"It's like. . . I'm walking in the dark. I don't know where I'm going, nor where I _have_ to go. I just feel so. . . lost." He says with a vulnerable look in his vibrant eyes. He's trying to look composed. I know that he hates the dark, but for Hisoka to admit his weakness like this. . . it must be hard for him. 

Gently, I clasp his hand again.

"Then I'll hold your hand and guide you. Let me be your eyes until you find your light. I promise, I won't let you stumble, but I'll catch you if you fall." I say, then continue with a playful wink. "Besides, I told you this before- I have good night vision."

Hisoka gives me a weird look.

"I. . . get your point. I think."

"_Yosh! _I'll go get some food for you now _ne?_ You just wait here." 

I ruffle his hair then walk towards the door. I was just about to walk out the infirmary when he called me.

"Tsuzuki! _Anou. . . arigatou._" He muttered shyly.

He's blushing. _Kawaii_. . . I smile at him then close the door.

This time, I'll keep my promise. I won't let you down, Hisoka, no matter what. 

**~)-0-(~**

Let's see. . . I think some fruits would be good. Hisoka doesn't like sweets, which until now I still find really bizarre, so it wouldn't do to get these creamy chocolate-sprinkled muffins. Ooohh but they're soooooo irresistible!!! I'll get them for myself then. Weee! Sweets are my life!! Chocolates, cinnamons, muffins, cakes, cookies, pocky. . . and the list goes on and on. . . _Waiii_!!! Okay, I think this is enough. Got to go back to Hisoka now.

I wanted to grab as many as I can, so it took me quite a while down there. Hisoka must be pretty annoyed by now. I'm almost at the infirmary. My arms are loaded with sweets and. . . oops, I forgot the fruits that I'm supposed to get. _Sou na_, now I have to go back to the break room. Geez, I think I got too distracted by all those luscious treats. 

Ack! So now I'm on my way back to the break room again. Walk, walk, walk. Phew! Silly me. To actually forget what I really came here for. Right, that's the break room now.

I come closer to the partly opened door, and I notice through the yellowish beam on the floor that the light's on.

_Are???_ Someone's here. But, isn't it past office hours now? Wonder who it is. . .?

"So. . . how did it go?" 

It's Tatsumi's voice. There's someone else with him. . .?

"It was a close call, really. I told bon just right before Tsuzuki came in."

That's Watari's voice. I wonder why they're talking about Hisoka though. . . and myself. Hmmm. . . EEP! NO! What am I doing? This isn't right. . . but. . . but. . .

"We'll just see what happens then." Tatsumi has this naughty tone in his voice. And his voice seems to be getting louder.

"Yes. I think it'll turn out pretty well. Really, it's about time those two. . . _are????_ Tsuzuki-_san_!? What are you doing here???" 

Watari's voice sounds startled, but he's trying his best to keep calm. AH! I didn't even notice that they were coming closer! What do I do. . . What do I do. . .

"I. . . hehe. . . um. . . was going to. . ." Shoot, I'm stammering. . . caught in the act. . . 

"Steal all those sweets again?" Tatsumi cut in with narrowed eyes. 

Yikes! I failed to notice that I still have my armful of sweets. Uh-oh. . . I'm in BIG trouble.

"_Anou_. . . I was going to bring some food back to Hisoka. . . and, well um. . ." 

Luckily, Watari's interruption saves me.

"Ah!" He slaps his forehead. "_Sou desu ne!_ I forgot to check on him before leaving. Oh well, might as well go now. But, Tsuzuki-san, I'm sure you know better than I do that bon will definitely no like _those_." He points at my arms.

"_Wakatteru yo. _That's why I came back!" I answer defensively with a pout. "_Matte_, I'll go get those fruits now."

"I'll go with you two. I want to see how Kurosaki-_kun_ is doing as well." Tatsumi says, fixing his spectacles.

I open the cupboard and take out the tiny basket filled with assorted fruits, then walk with Tatsumi and Watari back to the infirmary. 

**~)-0-(~**

Upon entering the infirmary, silence greets us. Not that it's a big trend, considering it _is_ Hisoka in there. But, it was rather _too_ quiet. And dark. Watari traces the wall for the switch then flicks it, turning the lights on. 

"Hisoka. . .?"  
  


I quietly approach the bed, Hisoka's sound asleep. He probably dozed off while waiting for me. Okay, now I feel a bit guilty. If only I came sooner, then he could've at least eaten something. . .

He squints at the sudden emergence of light and groggily opens his eyes. 

"Baka. . . what took you so long. . .?" His voice is soft and sleepy. 

"Hisoka!!" 

He sits up and rubs his eyes. So cute. . . he really looks like a child when he does that.

"Who were those two?" He gestures to the door.

His question suddenly makes me turn my head, only to find the room empty. 

Tatsumi and Watari were with me just a while ago,_ mou_. . . they should have at least said something if they wanted to go.

"Where are they?" I ask myself out loud, making Hisoka think the question was addressed to him.

"Well, they stood there for a while then went out. Didn't you even notice?" Hisoka tilts his head to the side curiously.

Honestly, no. 

"Well, they'll come back. Here! I brought you some fruits! You must be pretty hungry. Pick what you like and I'll peel it for you." I exclaim cheerfully.

"_A. . . aa_." 

So here we are, him quietly eating and me munching on my sweets. Mmmm. . . sooo good! Sweets are the best things humans ever made!!! I better thank who ever it was that first came up with the idea of making these treats! Life's not worth living without 'em! Yum! Yum!!!! 

"Ne, Tsuzuki." 

"Eh?" 

Hisoka's mellow voice takes me out of my sugar bliss and takes me back to reality.

"I. . . want to ask you something." 

He's blushing. I wonder why. . .?

"Yes?" I ask gently. 

"I. . . I don't mean to offend you or anything but. . . it's just. . . I can't seem to bring myself to believe it. . ." He trails off.

Okay, this seems to be really disturbing him. Push aside my sweets first then focus at him. Yes, even after what happened earlier, I can honestly say Hisoka comes first before sweets. Honest!

"Go on." I try to make it sound more like an encouragement, not a demand.

" Watari-san, he. . ."

His blush is deepening. What the. . .

"What did he do to you?" I ask unperturbed, but with a protective tone. 

"He told me that you. . . me. . ."

He's really hesitating, and I don't need to be an empath to tell how much this is disquieting him. 

"Yes?" I inquire gentler this time.

"Am I really your. . . _koi_?" 

The last word came softer than a whisper, but powerful enough to actually throw me off the bed and into the floor. I don't think I heard that correctly. I clumsily push myself up and sit back on the bed. Hisoka just can't possibly be serious.

"Hisoka. . . what was that you were asking me?" I ask with an obviously forced grin. The fact that my voice faltered when I asked that doesn't help me in hiding my uneasiness.

"Don't make me repeat this!" he snaps, but then restates it all the same. "I said. . . is it true about, you know, 'us'?"

If I still heard that wrong, I better have Watari check on my ears. What the heck. . . if this is a joke, it's not funny. Wait a minute. . . 

"Hisoka. . . did you just say it was Watari who told you?" I ask him gravely, and he's perplexed by my sudden change in demeanor.

He nods mutely.

Then something clicks inside me and I recall what I accidentally overheard earlier.

_ ~ "It was a close call, really. I told bon just right before Tsuzuki came in."_

_ "We'll just see what happens then."~_

Without even thinking, I step out of the room and look for Watari to confront him _and_ Tatsumi. They were together in this after all. 

**~)-0-(~**

Translations:

Ø _shinigami_ ~ god of death 

Ø _sankyuu_ ~ Tsuzuki's vain attempt to actually say "Thank You" in English ^^;;

Ø _aa_ ~ yes / sure

Ø _daijoubu desu ka_ ~ Are you alright? (courtesy of **GomaMizu-san**)

Ø _saa _~ well…

Ø _'taku_ ~ short for mataku which means _really_ (as in the one in italics, which somehow denotes exasperation) 

Ø _yamete_ ~ stop

Ø _baka_ ~ idiot

Ø _hontou ni_ ~ really (literal sense of the word ie. Hisoka wa **hontou ni** kirei = Hisoka is **really** beautiful ^^ *heart*)

Ø _betsuni _~ it's nothing / nevermind

Ø _Meifu_ ~ world of the dead

Ø _yosh(i)_ silent 'i' ~ good!; alright!; ok!; right on! (courtesy of **Crystal Rose-san** and **Artemis-san**) .

Ø _anou_ ~ Um…

Ø _kawaii_ ~ cute 

Ø _sonna_ ~ Oh no (courtesy of **Crystal Rose-san**)

Ø _are?_ ~ denotes mild surprise upon noticing something. Again, another failure to translate. (See how poor my Japanese is??? T.T )

Ø _sou desu ne_ ~ that's right (can also be "I agree" (?) )

Ø _wakatteru yo_ ~ I know!

Ø _mou_ ~ denotes mild annoyance 

Ø _koi_ ~ short for 'koibito' which means "lover" 

(If I made mistakes in my translations, please feel free to correct me. It'll be much appreciated. =^w^=)


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Those two! Just what the hell were they thinking! Telling Hisoka something like that. My footsteps echo in the now darkened halls of _EnmaCho_ as I briskly walk to Watari's lab, which is more of a home to him than his house. Where else would our resident mad scientist be anyway? With record speed I stop in front of the door. Clench my hand into a fist and knock thrice.

"Watari? I need to talk to you." I say loudly, so that he can hear me from out here.

"Just a minute!" He yells from inside.

Not even five seconds afterwards, a loud bang resounds behind the door. I'm willing to bet this year's salary, **if** I get any (Kachou doesn't call me a destructive demon for nothing!), that another failed experiment exploded. I breathe out a sigh. Sometimes, I wonder why not even one of Watari's experiments had ever succeeded… in killing him, that is. 

Oh, right, he's already dead. 

The door opens, releasing smoke from the inside. Watari comes out with a giant paper fan _Enma_ knows where he got. Probably used it to waft the smoke out. As for Watari he looks so… black.

"Watari?" My head cocks to the side. "Are you… okay?"

"Oh this…? It's nothing. Fufufufu" He laughs hollowly. 

003, his fluffy little owl, settles on his shoulder. 

"Sorry about that _ne_?" He tells the tiny creature with a warm gleam in his eyes. 

003 gives him an affectionate peck, as if to say 'It's okay'. Watari pets his feathery friend before turning his attention to me again.

"You wanted something, Tsuzuki? Come in." 

He opens the door wider to give way for me to get in. I cautiously walk inside. If I were to describe what it was like, one word would sum it up: chaotic. Bits and pieces of objects that seem to have flown into the air before it crashed on the ground are scattered everywhere. I jump as I feel something crack under my foot. I accidentally stepped on a tiny piece of… er… something. Looks like a broken bit of metal with multicolored wires sticking out. 

"Oops." Sheepishly look up at Watari. He's looking for something, so I think he didn't notice. That's good. Or else it would've meant trouble.

"Here. Take a seat for a while." He pushes a stool towards me and grabs a small towel.

He ties his curly blond locks tightly into a ponytail, opens the faucet above the sink then proceeds to wash his face. Looks like he's having trouble removing those black stains on his cheeks, and it makes me chuckle in amusement. After probably fifteen long minutes of struggling to remove the stubborn marks, he pats his face dry and lets his hair down again.

"So, what did you come here for?" He asks with a bright smile making his face glow.

A frown creases my eyebrows as I remember just why I came here in the first place.

"Why?" was all that came out of my mouth.

Watari looks at me with a curious expression.

"Why what?" he asks, his _genki _mood slightly fading away.

"Why did you tell that to Hisoka?" I look at him straight in the eyes, to make sure he wouldn't lie when he answers me.

His smile fades and is replaced by a serious expression. A bit guilty, but nonetheless his face tells me that he's no longer in a joking frame of mind. 

"You don't like the idea?" he questions seriously then continues, looking away. "I thought you'd go with it. This is what you've always wanted after all. Right?" He pronounces with a small grin.

That irritated me a little. I'm not that desperate.

"Watari, this isn't about me. I think that in Hisoka's condition right now, this might be too much. Don't you even care about Hisoka!?" I say, voice unintentionally louder than necessary. 

He looks at me with a flash of mild anger in his eyes. I think what I said must've touched his nerves.

"With all due respect, Tsuzuki-san, I think you rather misunderstood us." My head abruptly wheels around as I hear Tatsumi's voice from the doorway. But, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. After all, it's not unusual for Tatsumi to stay here in the office and work overtime. 

"I overheard your conversation, and came in just in time to hear what you burst out. Tsuzuki-san, we planned this out carefully, giving due consideration to Kurosaki-kun's feelings as well." He says, taking off his glasses and wiping it before placing it right back up. 

"You too Tatsumi… you of all people. I didn't expect that you'd go along with this." I protest.

Watari then takes his turn to speak.

"Tsuzuki, don't get mad at Tatsumi for this. This whole thing was my idea. I just convinced him to conspire with me." He gives Tatsumi a grateful look then continues. "I did this not just for you… but all the more for bon. I just thought that, at his confused state right now, it's just like he's starting over. Wouldn't it be a good idea to give him a taste of how it feels to be loved? Not just as a family, but in a much deeper way… which is exactly how you feel for him. So why not let him have this chance? And… why deprive yourself of this? "

I pause for a while to think. Well, I've got to admit he does have a point. But still… 

"What if… what if Hisoka doesn't want this? I mean, I don't know if he even likes me." I voice out the very uncertainty that has been holding me back from confessing my feelings to my partner ever since. 

Watari sniggers upon hearing that. 

"What?" I whine.

"Tsuzuki-san, surely, Kurosaki kun risking his life for you over and over again should give away the answer to that." Tatsumi answers with an amused smile. 

Then flashbacks of those times when Hisoka actually gambled his second death just for my sake came back to me. 

While watching over Hisoka and Hijiri in the infirmary right after the case involving that cursed violin, Watari told me that when I was possessed by the demon Saagatanus, everyone thought that no one would be able to stop me. They even called for reinforcements from other divisions. 

In a way, they all reckoned that not a single shinigami was strong enough to face me and save me from that demon's hands. 

But Hisoka still risked it. He repeatedly used the _reibaku _against me even though it drained him of all his energy. His empathy even made him collapse when he saw a part of my memory that I tried so hard to hide from everybody around me… both before and when I became a shinigami. 

He was the only one who never gave up on me even if… I could have killed him by my own hands. 

That makes me shudder. The thought of my hands stained by Hisoka's blood… 

I… 

I would have called Touda as early as back then. I would have lost my sanity already, and not wait for the Kyoto incident anymore.

Yes, Kyoto, where Hisoka nearly died _twice_ just to get me back. Tatsumi and Watari already told me of that time when my partner fought against Muraki's friend Oriya, who nearly slashed his body in half. Afterwards, he still jumped into Touda's flames, ignoring their warnings of how it could burn even a shinigami despite one's regenerative prowess. 

Remembering how much he cried in my arms and begged for me to stay still makes me feel so guilty. Looking back now, I think I realized somewhere along the way that it was really so selfish, and stupid, to think of ending my life when there's someone who needs me so much. And for my partner, prince of anti-socialism, to actually say out loud that he cares for someone requires tremendous amount of courage and disregard of pride. 

And then… he said those words.

~_"The only place where I belong… is right here by your side!" _~__

Words that told me that someone cared.

Words that told me my existence was worth something to someone. 

Words that gave me this new life… which I live for that person alone. 

And it always makes me smile. A true, unmasked and heartfelt smile.

Now I know that my life has a meaning, and a purpose.

"You see now?" Tatsumi's voice pulls me out of my train of thought, upon noticing that understanding has dawned. 

"I… actually mean this much to Hisoka…" I voice my realization. And it's about time I noticed. I'm such a dope.

"If you want more proof, let me tell you something then." I look at Watari, his cheerfulness back. "You know, every time you two come back here from a really dangerous mission, where bon gets severely injured, there's only one name that he calls whenever he's in so much pain. It's also that very same person he looks for when he wakes up. And it's not me, his self-proclaimed 'personal doctor and caretaker'. Want to guess?" Watari winks at me.

"Me…" The word just kind of slipped from my mouth. I didn't even notice it coming out.

"Bingo!" Watari squeals happily.

"You see? Needless of words, it's very obvious how much Kurosaki-kun values you. It's no wonder. You made him feel what it's like to be cared for. You showed him how annoying… *ahem*… I mean, nice you truly are. And most important of all, you proved to him that he's worthy of being loved and cherished." Tatsumi adds with a rare, warm smile. 

Though I have the feeling that he meant the 'annoying' part.

"That's right…" I feel my lips curve upwards into a smile… then replaced by a sigh again. "But I still feel like I'm taking advantage of him." I convey hesitantly.

"Not exactly." Watari interjects. "This would've happened in time anyway. You two being together, I mean. So why not let it happen now, _ne_?" he stops for a bit, then narrows his eyes suspiciously. "You WERE planning on confessing to him, right?" 

What, he doesn't trust that I ever thought of doing that?

"Honestly, yes. Well, right after this case, actually. But then _this_ had to happen." Breathe out another sigh "Sometimes I think fate is against us." 

I can feel my eyes saddening. 

Then I sense Tatsumi's hand on my shoulder. 

"On the contrary, I think fate has given this to you as a chance." Tatsumi says with a reassuring smile. "Tell me honestly, Tsuzuki-san, do you think you would've had the courage to 'talk' to Kurosaki-kun had your case fared normally?"

"Um… no?" I grin sheepishly. 

"I though not." Tatsumi sighs exasperatedly.

It's just, whenever I come across the thought of actually doing that, the doubt of ruining the friendship we tried so hard to build always comes into my mind… thus keeping me from telling Hisoka how I truly love him.

Telling him words that he rightly deserves to hear.

"So what do you say, Tsuzuki? Are you going to go with the plan?" Watari nudges my side playfully.

I pause for a while to think. I'm still really hesitant about this.

"I… what if Hisoka gets mad at me afterwards?" Sounds like an excuse, but it's true. I wouldn't want that to happen. 

Tatsumi's eyebrows twitch. "Tsuzuki-san, I'm running out of patience with you. If you don't want to go about this, we can always tell Kurosaki-kun that it was all a joke. Right, Watari-san?" 

"Well, if Tsuzuki really doesn't want to…" Watari adds mischievously. 

Even if I would've preferred to gain Hisoka's heart by my own effort and not like this…

"Alright! I'll do it!" I reluctantly agree.

And they have successfully forced me into submission. Yes! I was forced, I say! Except for the little fact that I'm actually enjoying this. Well now, naughty little me feels the strong urge to titter at the thoughts of those things I want to do with my… _koibito_. 

Maybe I'll just worry about how the Hisoka with his memories back will react when the time comes.

"That's the spirit!" Watari slaps my back. "So? What are you waiting for? Go back to bon right now and shower him with you hugs and kisses!!!" Watari exclaims, starry-eyed.

"AH!!!" I suddenly burst out. "Damn it! I almost forgot about Hisoka!!! He's still waiting for me!" I frantically yell. 

The two abruptly turn to gape at me.

"You mean, he was still awake when you left!? I though he was sleeping by now." Watari cries out in disbelief.

"Really now Tsuzuki-san. How could you just leave him alone like that? How irresponsible." Tatsumi scolds.

"But I didn't mean to! I was just really ticked off by what you did and…" 

And I left him just right after… oh gods, Hisoka… 

"Well, what are you waiting for? Go back, Tsuzuki-san. Besides, I have some important things to discuss with Watari-san here." Tatsumi turns to look at Watari with bloody murder in his eyes. "Like… the laboratory destruction costs."

See a couple of tiny horns growing above Tatsumi's head. 

So I dash out of the infirmary before all hell goes wild. 

But more importantly, I hurry back out of concern for Hisoka. I wonder what he's thinking right now. Leaving him just like that, without even saying a word… Tatsumi's right. How irresponsible.

**~)-0-(~**

I hear a faint noise as I come closer to the infirmary. 

Listen closer. 

This sound… very soft and yet I can hear it clearly. 

I tune my ears more to the sound and pay close attention. 

Sobbing… someone's crying… 

Hisoka!

I hasten my steps to a full run as I recognize his voice. Grab the knob and hastily open the door. Hisoka's curled up and hugging his knees tightly. 

And he's crying.

"Hisoka? What happened?" I ask cautiously. Without any second thoughts I sit on the edge of the bed and pull him close.

Hisoka looks up to me with tear-streaked eyes. He's trying to speak straight, but I can't make out what he's saying because it's messed up by his weak gasps.

"You… you probably hate me because of how I've acted. I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… I was just…" 

What!!!? So all this was because of… ME!!!???

"Hisoka… of course not! Why would you think that?" I ask, trying to calm his breathing by running gentle strokes along his back. 

"I… felt it. You were so angry when you left. I really didn't mean it though… I was just confused and I…" he continues to sob.

He's crying because he thought I was mad at him!? I am such an idiot! Why wouldn't he? I left the poor thing out of the blue with my anger radiating to him. Now I've hurt him again. 

I've got to explain this.

"Hisoka… listen to me. I wasn't mad at you. I was mad at Watari for telling you about 'us'. I just thought that it was all too sudden, that you might not be ready for it yet. But it's okay now. We already talked about it. So don't cry anymore okay?" 

Let my shields down and make him feel my reassurance.

"So you're not mad at me…?" Hisoka asks hesitantly, his voice muffled by my shirt.

I tighten my hold on him, until I feel his heart softly beating right next to mine.

"No. I'm not mad at you." I gently reiterate, running my fingers through his fabulously soft hair. 

And he looks up at me, eyes attractively wide and vulnerable.

"Really?" he asks insistently, as if wanting to make sure that I'm honestly not angry with him. I let out a chuckle. He's really so cute. Just like a child who, after being scolded by his mother, wants to be certain that she still loves him.

"Really." I cup his face and wipe his tears away. 

I stare at my partner for a moment, then my gaze lingers as I register how he looks right now. 

His eyes that mirror his innocence… 

His unguarded expression… 

And partly opened, soft trembling lips… 

"So beautiful…" 

Strikingly angelic.

I could feel my head unconsciously descending, my lips dangerously getting closer to his. 

Then he blushes upon realizing just what I'm about to do, and it makes him even more eye-catching.

I can't stop myself. This feeling…

And the door opens with a loud bang.

"Tsuzuki!" 

It's Watari. Someday, I'll kill him for his horrible timing.

"Tatsumi told me that it wasn't his fault. Then it leaves me to think that _you're_ the culprit…" He hisses at me. His eyes are flashing with suppressed desire to kill, then he smirks. "I suppose you're the one who did _this_."

And he holds out a… woops. It's the thing I stepped on earlier back at his lab.

Suddenly there's an imaginary lump in my throat that I nervously swallow. I am **so** dead. 

**~)-0-(~**

Translations:

Ø _reibaku_- spirit binding (?)

(If I made mistakes in my translations, please feel free to correct me. It'll be much appreciated. =^w^=)


	4. Chapter 3

Thanks a lot to Pinky-neechan for the suggestions!!! *glomp* Your ideas were a great help!! I had lots of loopholes on this chap and you helped fix them. Doumo arigatou!!! ^^ 

Again, as always… Thanks sooo much to my ever-supportive and patient beta reader- psy-chan!!! *glomps* =^^= 

**CHAPTER 3**

Oh boy… Watari's really mad at me now. But how was I supposed to know that whatever it was I stepped on is still important to him? I mean, I thought it was just part of whatever junk exploded in his lab. Besides, it's not like I broke it on purpose.

"Tsuzuki, how could you!? Don't you know that this is the central board for my latest invention? Without this, I'll never be able to finish my multi-purpose automatic can, bottle and jar opener- Charlie-kun!!!!" Watari reprimands, making me transform into _inu-chibi_ once again.

"_De~mo~ _I didn't mean to! It was an accident, Watari~~~!!!!" I apologize, humbly bowing.

"Apology NOT accepted! From now on, you will be my slave in the lab until I am able to reconstruct Charlie-kun!" Watari exclaims, pointing an accusing finger at me.

"I can't do that!!!!" I answer back defensively. "I have to watch over my partner!"

He looks at Hisoka upon hearing that.

"Besides, I told you I--"

"SSHHH!!!" Watari presses his lips with his index finger to silence me.

He walks past me towards Hisoka's bed. Hisoka is still curled up, leaning on the window… sound asleep. Watari leans forward and gently lifts him up, then lays him back down on the bed for a more comfortable position to sleep. He pulls the blanket over him and sweetly whispers '_Oyasumi_'.

After that he approaches me again.

"We'll talk about this tomorrow." He hisses in my ear and walks out of the room.

**~)-0-(~**

This morning, I woke up earlier than Hisoka. Right now I'm staring at him. Again. I never really get tired of saying this, but Hisoka really is so cute especially when he's sleeping. 

My little angel… 

Call me sappy, but I guess no one would dare argue if I say that Hisoka is the most adorable thing in existence. 

He stirs a little. That's a sign that he'll be waking up soon. So I guess I should get up and make my way to the break room to get breakfast for him. As much as I'd love to see him cutely open his eyes, I know that he'll be hungry by the time he comes back from the land of dreams. 

Great. Just great. Who else do I see at the break room but Watari? And first thing in the morning too! He turns to look at who had just entered, and sees me standing frozen on the doorframe.

And he smiles.

"_Ohayou_ Tsuzuki!" He greets cheerfully.

Am I still sleeping? I must be dreaming. Watari is actually smiling at me after what happened last night? 

I think I have a bad feeling about this.

"_Ne_, Tsuzuki, I have a proposal to make." He begins with a seemingly innocent smile. "Since you can't be my slave at the lab because you have to watch over bon, I've thought of another way that you can pay for destroying Charlie-kun."

Okay, I don't think, I **know** I have a bad feeling about this.

"Why don't you tell Tatsumi that he can deduct the cost of the lab explosion from **your **paycheck?"

"WHAT!!!?" I suddenly burst out. "But… but…"

Watari interrupts. 

"We~ll, if you don't want to, you are always welcome to be my slave." He states calmly, and then whistles innocently.

I knew it. From the moment he smiled at me there was definitely something wrong. Of course, he knows that I have no choice but to agree with his idea. 

"Okay, my debt it is." I reluctantly submit.

"_Yosh, _it's a deal then!" 

And Watari happily skitters out of the break room.

I don't regret it though. Hisoka **is **my priority right now. Not my paycheck.

Nor the sweets I can buy with it.

And NO! I am NOT going to cry over that!

Never!!

Really!

…

Me and my miserable life.

**~)-0-(~**

"What happened to you?" Hisoka asks, looking at me curiously upon seeing me walk in.

No wonder. I had my shoulders slumped all the time since I came back.

"It's nothing." I answer gloomily.

"Right." Hisoka answers with clear doubt in his voice, and adds "You look like someone had just stolen all of your favorite sweets." 

If it weren't for the fact that I turned _inu-chibi_, broke into tears, and wailed madly when Hisoka mentioned that, I would've admired him for his sharpness and impressive memory. I mean, he had only seen me eat sweets once or twice, and now he knows how much I **love** them. Or maybe it's just **that** obvious.

Or… could it be because a part of him still remembers? Could his memories possibly be slowly coming back? I do hope so.

Tears still flowing from my eyes like waterfalls, and me still throwing tantrums on the floor, Hisoka beckons me to come closer to him. I obediently do so and he keeps me in a warm embrace. Then I start to feel his gentle hand pat my hair.

"There, there. So you won't cry anymore, I'll give you a promise. Once I get my paycheck, I'll buy you sweets. Lots of them if you like. Is that okay?"

I look up to him with pleading puppy eyes.

"Promise?" I raise my little finger to him.

"_Un! Yakusoku da yo! _" And he crosses his pinky over mine.

"Weee~~~!!!"

I glomp him.

The next second, I felt a closed fist hit my head really hard.

"Hidoi~~~!!!! What was **that **for!?"

I whine, nursing my poor, poor head.

"You wet my shirt. Baka." Hisoka states calmly, as if what he did was reasonable enough.

Such a moody partner, one moment he's sweeter than an angel, the next he's like a little devil.

A very **cute** devil, mind you**. **

**~)-0-(~**

"Hi~so~ka~~~!" I whine for the nth time that day.

"No, no and NO!" He argues, and then pulls the bowl and spoon away from me.

"But…" I insist again.

"No, Tsuzuki and that's final!"

"Fine." I slouch on my seat.

I hate it when Hisoka becomes so stubborn. You see, it all started when I came back here from the break room (I forgot to get his breakfast earlier so I had to go there again) and pleaded, begged, even used my ever-effective puppy look. I wasn't asking for a big thing. I just wanted to spoon-feed him. Is that too much to ask!? 

A knock sounded on the door.

"I see you two are having the time of your lives." 

Hisoka and I both turn to the door to acknowledge who just came in. It's Tatsumi. He briskly walks towards my partner's bed and gives him a rare, warm smile.

"How are you today, Kurosaki-kun?" He asks with a well-suppressed tone of concern, which you can only detect if you've known Tatsumi for as long as I have.

"I'm fine. I feel a lot better than yesterday now that I've eaten already." Hisoka answers timidly, blushing slightly.

"I see. That's very nice to hear." Tatsumi claps his hand once. "Well, I've come to deliver good news!"

Now this is rare. Usually when Tatsumi comes looking for us, especially **me**, it's a bad sign. Like the last time, if I still remember correctly, is in order to tell me that for the seemingly millionth time, my salary has been cut… again. 

"Kachou told me to inform you two that starting today; you are officially given a whole month of break." He states calmly.

It took a few minutes before the information finally sank in.

"Re… Re… REALLY!?" I burst out excitedly.

"Yes, Tsuzuki-san, it's for the simple reason that you have been working nonstop for the past ten months. Also, we have to provide enough recovery time for Kurosaki-kun. Kachou and I discussed this and have come to that conclusion."

"So that means…" I look at him with hopeful eyes. I still can't believe it.

"From now on, you two are on vacation." Tatsumi finishes for me.

_Sugoi_!!! Finally! A vacation! One month even!

For that length of time…

Hisoka and I…

Together…

All by ourselves.

**~)-0-(~**

=^w^= Wai! Another chapter! Done! ^^

**~)-0-(~**

Reply to reviews:

**Starza**: Oooohhh… you think so? I'm so happy! ^^ I thought the story was going nowhere. I'm glad you said that the flow's okay. *heart* Oh and thanks a bunch for the compliment ('story's cute')… You just don't know how much it means to me. ^^

**Sheera's Greywolf**: Hontou??? You really really really think so??? Thanks soooo much!!! (and I thought I suck at writing T.T) *sniffs* Thanks a lot. ^^ You helped boost my very low self-confidence. ^^

**Kireira**: Yup, of course I won't give his memory back so soon *insert evil, sadistic laughter* I want to play with the cute and innocent Hisoka-chan for a while. ^^ But there might be parts that the real Hisoka would show (like when he gets mad at Tsuzuki and whacks him on the head XD) Hehe.. 

**Ita-chan**: O_o ooohhh bad Ita-chan… trying to corrupt empath-chan's already corrupted mind… LOL like I was ever innocent!!! XD hehehe.. But… about your request, I'm not sure. If it becomes necessary for the fic, why not? *evil smirk* but… I'm scared. *puppy eyes* I'm really no good at writing that kind of stuff, and I might end up ruining the entire fic. So, I'll see. I promise I'll think about it. ^^ *heart*

**Vulpick**: Right… they almost did. XD And well, Hisoka's always cute. *hearts everywhere* Especially when he's angry. LOL XD XD XD…

**Rei**: Thank you!!! Such nice comments… makes my eyes sparkle! *heart* Hmmm… you're right. I wonder how Hisoka would react if he found out about this. ^^;;

**Akurei**: You really think so? *puppy eyes* Thanks a bunch!! I really appreciate that. ^^ Don't worry, I'll try my best to work on my English skills. Oh boy, sounds like a really tough job on my part. -_-;; 

**Yume Maxwell-Yuy**: Well, here it is!! I hope this chapter was ok! ^^

**Kawaii**: Well, too bad. Watari came in at a very wrong timing. ^^;; I wonder whose fault it is… (See all arrows point a certain baka author who wrote that part.) LOL XD 

**CaT**: Waii~! You think so? Thanks a lot! I'm so glad it turned out that way *heart* ^^ 

**GomaMizu**, **Crystal Rose** and **Artemis**: Thanks for the corrections! ^^ I already replaced it. Doumo Arigatou! *heart*

**Lothlorien**: Thanks so much!!! ^^ I hope I don't disappoint you in later chapters! 

**yamatoforever**: hehehe… Watari really did! Hmmm… about the couple, you'll just have to wait and see ne. ^o^

**Darke Angel**: Ha! I updated see? Again, I just forgot about the _soon_ part. XD 

**xXLil Yu JahXx**: Right. Silly Watari-chan… but it's really baka neko's fault (neko=empath-chan) that he did that… she wrote that part. Nyihihihihi ^o^ 

**Mirai Kurosaki**: Waiiii~!!! I'm so glad master tolerates her pathetic neko!!! *hearts* meow!! =^^=

**Kaya Kioko**: I luv your email add XD XD XD Thanks a bunch!!! Such a happy reviewer!! I like it… and about the session thingy… Hehehe you've opened up a possibility! ^^;; What if it _does_ happen ne? Curious curious… (gets whacked on the head by a certain empath calling her a hentai) Well, as they say… "curiosity _killed_ the neko" *sigh*

**Duet**: Ah… sugar, I can relate with you well. ^^;; It gets dangerous when a certain neko over here gets sugar high. She gets waaaay too much out-of-this-world ideas. Like this fic for example. XD

**~)-0-(~**

Translations:

_inu-chibi_- little puppy _demo_- but _Oyasumi_- "Good Night" or "Sleep well" _Yakosoku da yo_- I promise. _Hidoi_- meanie or how mean _Sugoi_- amazing 

(If I made mistakes in my translations, please feel free to correct me. It'll be much appreciated. =^w^=)


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Wow… The glittering white sand… the crystal blue water… the scorching heat of the sun… this can only be… the beach! This is great! I can swim with Hisoka, make a sandcastle with Hisoka, walk along the seashore holding Hisoka's delicate hand… and simply just spend time and enjoy a month's worth of fun-filled vacation with the love of my life… Hisoka. And maybe… just maybe, I…

"_Oi_! Earth to Tsuzuki!" The subject of my thoughts suddenly calls from behind the cab where he and the driver are presently unloading the trunk. He looks at me with a cute little scowl on his face as he crosses his arms over his chest. "Come here and help will you? You _weren't_ planning to make me carry all these luggage were you now?" 

"Oops, sorry" I grin sheepishly.

I hurry over and sling two of my duffel bags over each of my shoulders. Hisoka puts on his medium-sized backpack and picks up my third bag. 

" _'Taku_. Why'd you have to bring so much stuff?" He complains. 

"But Hisoka, you never know what we might need during our stay. Besides, I don't want to spend most of our vacation doing laundry, so I decided to bring lots of clothes." I tell him. Obviously he didn't bring much clothes himself, judging from the size of his bag. 

"Whatever." He mutters. 

After paying the cab driver, we walk towards the hotel. The guard at the entrance smiles at us then opens the huge glass door with silver handles to let us in. Hisoka leaves me at the lobby with our bags as he goes over to the reception desk to check in. The lady greets him with a welcoming grin and hands a few papers. Hisoka signs them and after handing them back, the lady gives him a pair of card keys. After gratefully bowing, he comes back to me and we look for our rooms.

This hotel is well known for its world-class services yet affordable price, and since it's summer, most of the rooms were already occupied. Luckily, one of the guests left earlier this morning just before we checked in so we managed to snag the room, and it's a rooftop suite to boot. So we ride the elevator to the 40th floor, walk on the hallway, and finally, reach the room we'll be residing for the rest of our vacation. Hisoka slides one of the card keys and the door unlocks with a soft click. He turns the knob and opens the room where we'll be staying in… together. 

I collapse on the soft, bouncy couch and toss my bags on the carpeted floor. Stretch my arms to relax my tired shoulders… phew! feels good. Hisoka carefully places the other bag down on the wooden table and removes his backpack. He walks over to the cabinet and unpacks his clothes, neatly placing them inside one by one. He leaves a big space beside them and soon unpacks my bags too. Hisoka really is the responsible one between us, just like a wife. Um, I didn't mean it like… I mean, what I wanted to say was… oh screw it. It's just, Hisoka can be so motherly, that's all… Okay, I think that was even worse. I'll just say that Hisoka is plainly Hisoka. Period.

…_my _Hisoka of course. 

He keeps one of the card keys and gives me the other, just in case either of us loses one of them. He removes his sneakers and places them on the shoe rack then lies down on the bed to rest. The trip was kind of long, so I wouldn't be surprised why Hisoka got tired. I remove my shoes too and put them next to Hisoka's, then lie down beside him. I roll over to my side so that I'm facing him and brush my fingers through his hair. 

"Hey, did you get tired from the trip? Sorry. We could've teleported here but the people might find it strange if we suddenly appeared out of nowhere." I tell him. But with all that traffic jam, I have to admit that riding the cab was quite a hassle.

He turns to face me and looks at me with softened eyes. "It's okay. I'm just tired. I'll just take a nap for now. I'm sure I'll feel better later." 

I continue to stroke his hair and his eyelids begin to drop. "Rest well." 

Yes, rest. That's what he needs most right now. It was only when Tatsumi mentioned it that I realized we've been working non-stop for almost a year now. It's really no wonder why Hisoka got so worn-out on our last case. And I think that this vacation is just the right thing for both of us to have the chance to relax and… do other things. What I mean by 'other things' are… well… like training Hisoka again and refreshing him on the ways of being a _shinigami_… Okay, and maybe those stuff that lovers do too. But that'll have to wait until he's ready. I'm planning to take this step by step because I really don't want to scare Hisoka since he's new to this.

I move closer to him and put my arms around him hesitantly. I half-expected that he'll pull away, but his reaction takes me by surprise. He moves closer to me too and snuggles his head into my chest. He breathes a tired yet relieved sigh and in less than five minutes, his even breathing tells me that he had fallen asleep.

I think I dozed off too. What with the comfortable position I'm in, especially cuddling my partner that's way much better than a child's teddy bear. He's still asleep. I'd go ahead and cook dinner for him, but I want to explore the place some more, so I'd rather eat out with him. Hm, maybe if he's up to it, I'll ask him to go down with me to the lobby. Yes and we could even do some sightseeing downtown… I heard it's rather lovely at night. That would be so wonderful. Yes, people, I'm proud to admit that I'm a hopeless romantic. Who wouldn't be if they had Hisoka for a lover anyway? 

"Hey… had a good sleep?" I smile at Hisoka as his eyes sleepily flutter open. He stifles a yawn and stretches. My head moves involuntarily to kiss the top of his head… I can't help it! Hisoka's just too cute when he's being cat-like. 

"Ne Hisoka, want to eat out for dinner? It's a beautiful night." I ask him eagerly.

"Hm? But Tsuzuki, do we even have that much money?" He curiously raises his eyebrows at me.

"Sure we do! I mean, Tatsumi did promise that he'd share with the expenses. So it's okay even if we go a little over-budget." I reply with a big smile. 

"You're sure about that?" Hisoka asks suspiciously.

"Yup! Absolutely!" I answer, grinning from ear to ear. 

But I understand Hisoka's doubt. I was just as apprehensive as he is now when I first planned this vacation, but when I talked to Tatsumi about it, he said that he'll give his share in the expenses too, and he was even the one who took care of the reservations and all. I think it just goes to show that he does care about Hisoka too. I never thought that I'd see Tatsumi spending money for someone even in my wildest imagination! But for Hisoka, he made an exception… just like he did for me when we were in Kyoto. Wow… maybe Tatsumi is beginning to become soft. Who knows, he might start to raise salaries by the time we go back to work. Right. I think I'll be the one to stop eating sweets first before Tatsumi even begins to think of doing that.

**~)-0-(~**

So here I am at the hallway once again, on our way to the lobby. I absently watch the numbered buttons light up as we wait for the elevator for about a couple of minutes, then we get in and push the 'G' button to go down to the ground floor. The elevator stops and opens, so I wait for Hisoka to step out then follow behind him. 

Upon entering the lobby, a spectacular sight accompanied with a beautiful music greets us. The high ceiling is adorned with crystal chandeliers brightening the entire entrance hall, and at the very center of the spacious lobby, a white grand piano stands. Behind it, a young boy, I think about Hisoka's age or older, is seated while his fingers gracefully dance on top of the black and white keys. 

"He's a special guest tonight." A lady in black dress- probably one of the guests- says upon noticing us staring at him in awe. "He's one of the richest persons here in Japan, because his father was once part of the inner circle of the most successful entrepreneurs. He's also a very talented artist, and his works are displayed in the gallery. I think you'd better go see for yourself. His masterpieces are truly milestones in the field of art."

Enticed by what we were told, Hisoka and I then decide to check out the gallery. The paintings are really fascinating. Different artitsts used different mediums, each work done to its fullest extent, but there is that particular one that caught Hisoka's attention, and he's looking at it right now. It's a portrait of two loevbirds sitting on the porch of a balcony facing the ocean. This is simlpy breath-taking, and I just couldn't tell why, but it exceeds the other paintings for some reason.

"Amazing... it's done so perfectly as if the subjects weren't moving at all. Each stroke done with accurate detail." Hisoka commented. Oh, so that's it. He's right. Each and every line was done so flawlessly, and the color and brightness are just right... it was as if time stopped when the artist drew it. 

"_aki... namida_... 'autumn'... 'tears'...? I wonder why these _kanji_ are written here." I tell Hisoka, poiting to the lower right corner of the painting.

"I don't know." Hisoka shrugs. "Hm... artists usually sign their works, so maybe it's the name of the one who painted it?" Hisoka suggests, looking up at me with eyebrows raised. 

"Probably..." I shrug in agreement. We look around some more. There were other beautiful artworks that portrayed famous people, mountains, waterfalls, fruits... speaking of food... "_Ne_, Hisoka, I'm hungry. Let's go eat! I want to look around downtown too. Please?" I beg, trying to lure him to cave in to my most pitiful puppy look ever. 

"Fine." He sighs, knowing all too well that arguing with me is useless. 

**~)-0-(~**

We take a stroll downtown and stop to have dinner at a Chinese restaurant. It's not that sophisticated but the ambience is warm and welcoming. And boy, the food is good too! I even had five servings, and that's a first in the history of Tsuzuki's stomach. It's good that Hisoka finished his, albeit he only had one serving, but since it's Hisoka, it's already a rarity that he'd gotten half of his food done. So again, another first! 

After dinner we walked around some more and went into different stores. The bright neon lights illuminate the night animating the entire street that it makes you forget time. We went into some of the stores, but ended up not buying a thing since there were so many to choose from. 

We also went into a casino, but I had to keep protectively close to Hisoka because some of the nasty-looking customers kept on throwing hungry glances at him, making my partner very nervous. 

We tried out some of the games. Hisoka's really such a lucky charm, because with him around, we keep on winning. Then I remember when he played against Muraki aboard Queen Camellia, and his royal straight flush saved me and my virginity from that perverted psycho. Really, I guess lady luck is always watching over her precious angel…. Well, not so. I mean, if that were the case, then Hisoka's life would've been a bit more… pleasant. But it doesn't matter… it's all in the past now. Hisoka has a family in us. Besides, it's not like I'll let anyone hurt him again. Never. Over my dead shinigami body. 

I look at Hisoka playing the roulette when, suddenly, a man grabs his waist from behind. Hisoka gasps and tries to push the taller and stronger man away.

"Let go!" he protests.

"Hey there doll face. Want to have some… _fun_?" The obviously drunk man asks seductively.

"Let him go." I warn as I try to pry his hands off Hisoka, but he stubbornly keeps them around him and tightens his hold.

"Hey! You shouldn't keep such a beauty to yourself. You should learn to share!" He retorts.

My blood suddenly boils and my hands unconsciously clench.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." And the next moment, my fist collides with his face making him loosen his hold on Hisoka. After freeing himself from the man's tight grasp Hisoka runs to my side.

"You okay?" I ask gently, smiling down at him.

And he nods gratefully. 

I take Hisoka's hand and lead him to the casino's exit. 

"Let's go. Let's get out of here." 

We didn't talk much on our way back to the hotel and now here we are, back at our room. We take turns in using the bathroom to change into our sleeping attire, Hisoka into his pajamas and me into boxers and a loose shirt. We switch off the main light and turn the lampshade on. While lying down I stare at the ceiling for a while… until Hisoka snuggles closer to me. 

"Hey… don't think about what happened earlier too much. I think our first day didn't go too bad." he reassures me. I think he felt my disappointment. It's just, I wanted this vacation to go smoothly and it all had to be ruined by that pervert.

"And… thanks." he shyly mutters.

I wrap my arms around him and pull him closer so that I could kiss the top of his head. I love the scent of his hair. 

"Nothing to it. You know that I'd do it for you… anything… to keep you from harm." 

I could feel him relax as I run my fingers through his soft blond strands, then he stifles a yawn.

"Well, you're right. We have a whole month ahead of us… so I think this vacation can only get better." I affirm, more to myself than to Hisoka. 

But, I just can't erase the worry that I'm feeling right now, no matter how I try to bury it at the back of my head so as to not let Hisoka feel my anxiety. Back at the casino… that man called Hisoka 'doll face'. I can't help but notice the word **doll. **What if it had some kind of effect on Hisoka? I mean, the only person whoever called Hisoka by that twisted nickname is… Damn! I can't think about that now. Or else Hisoka might notice.

"Tsuzuki… go to sleep. You worry too much." Hisoka reprimands me sleepily. 

"Oh! Um, sorry about that. Goodnight." And I kiss his forehead.

"_Oyasumi._" Hisoka softly whispers and kisses my cheek, as if to cheer me up.

So I switch off the lampshade so that we can both sleep now. I was on the verge of dozing of when a sudden realization sank in and snapped me back into full consciousness.

Did Hisoka just **kiss** me?

**~)-0-(~**

tbc???


	6. Chapter 5

** Chapter 5**

****

Every morning, I always feel like I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I've never known that some mornings could also be so wonderful, so relaxing, so right and so… perfect. Everything I see seems to look so beautiful. The room looks so neat and the rays of the sun filtered by the translucent curtains feel so warm, balancing the cool temperature in our air-conditioned room. And what more can make my morning any better than my Hisoka sleeping right beside me… and him being the very first thing I see when I open my eyes.

I carefully peel the blanket off me and fix it over Hisoka's sleeping form. Slowly, careful enough not to wake him up, I get off the bed and go to the mini-kitchen to see if I can make something for breakfast. 

Usually it's Hisoka who wakes up earlier and does the cooking. But I'm referring to when we're staying at apartments during cases. It's not like we've been living together. I love the idea though. Well, I've been planning on asking him, but I haven't gotten any closer to that than asking him to marry me.

Sometimes, I can't help but think that even after the Kyoto incident, we haven't made any progress at all. I mean sure, we can't live without each other but neither of us has ever made a move on going a step further. Hisoka isn't the type to go into such things. I'm supposed to be the one making the moves, but even though I hate to admit it, I'm still hesitant. 

Maybe we'll just let time do it's magic. I'll have to be contented with whatever we have right now.

Someone tell me again how my thoughts drifted from breakfast to that?

Right, food. Open the fridge and check the contents. It's empty. Cabinet's no good too, save for the usual canned stuff that hotels always provide. This one will do! One-step pancakes. Cooking this would mean an additional charge, but I guess there's nothing I can do about it. I brought a lot of stuff but didn't even bother with anything we can cook for breakfast. We'll have to buy some groceries later. 

Okay, let's see. It says here that I only have to put water and voila! Instant pancakes! So I open the box, get the scissors to open the plastic, and then pour out all the contents into a mixing bowl. Then… how much water again? Right, 2 cups it is. Then mix until it gets sticky. 

I look for a frying pan at the cabinets below the sink. I put it above the stove then rotate the switch to start a flame. Wait a minute, I think I saw some butter in the fridge but… oh dear, no syrup. I don't like pancakes without syrup! I guess I'll have to improvise. Sugar! Of course!

So I go over to the little glass cabinet right above where the china are and get a little bottle that contains sugar. I put a couple of tablespoons on the mixture. Hisoka doesn't like it to be too sweet. He doesn't even put syrup when he eats pancakes. Wait, has he ever eaten pancakes before? Oh well.

I think this mixture's done. So I cook them one by one. This is the part I hate most. I swear, I could never cook normal-looking pancakes even if my life depended on it. They always get crushed, crumpled, or sometimes, even burned. And that's exactly what's happening again now. 

Darn it. 

Breakfast is ready! After what seemed like an eternal battle between good and evil (pancakes are evil!!!), I have managed to cook breakfast. Somehow. 

I come into the room just in time to see Hisoka about to wake up. Now **this** is the part I love most. Had I mentioned how cute Hisoka is whenever he does that? Probably over a million times…

"Ohayou!!! Breakfast is ready. And I cooked!" Er… tried to anyway. 

I hastily get a plate and put a couple of fresh pancakes for Hisoka and hand it over to him.

"Go on, try it!" I chirp, eager to see how much he'll like it.

Hisoka looks at it hesitantly, but cuts a small piece and puts it in his mouth. 

Then he starts to cough out violently after barely a couple of chews.

Uh-oh.

"Tsuzuki… what exactly were you trying to cook?" He asks after suppressing his coughs.

"Um, pancakes…?" Then I bite my lower lip.

"From what I know, pancakes are supposed to be **sweet**… not salty." 

Salty???

I dash off to the kitchen and pick up the bottle of sugar… and see the label spell s-a-l-t… not s-u-g-a-r.

And my head drops.

Great. The first time Hisoka could've eaten breakfast I especially made for him and I screwed it up. Great going, Asato.

Shoulders slumped, I make my way back to the bedroom.

"Hisoka… I… I…" 

"Never mind. I'll just cook another one."

Hisoka stands up and folds our blanket. After fixing the bed, he opens the curtains to let the sun's bright light in. He passes by me on his way to the kitchen. Then suddenly, upon seeing the clear blue sky and the people down on the beach, I hold his hand.

"Wait… I have a better idea."

**~)-0-(~**

The sun feels so warm… and the weather is windy. It's a perfect day to go walking down the shore. We pick a quiet spot a little distant from where most of the other tourists are, mostly because Hisoka prefers a quieter atmosphere. It's better that way, at least he can really relax. We spread the beach blanket then he sits and starts to read a book.

We were sharing mutual silence together until my stomach growls, demanding food.

"I guess that means breakfast. Hisoka, I'll go get something to eat. Wait here 'kay?" I stand up and get ready to leave.

"Okay. Don't spend too much though. Tatsumi-san will skin us alive if we overspend." He reminds. And I'm glad he did. I was hoping I could get that banana split special that they're advertising on that big banner.

So I walk over to the hotdog waffle stand. It's a bit far from where we're staying but I think the food would still be warm when I give it to Hisoka. After three minutes of waiting, I pay the old man- whose smile is quite funny with a missing front tooth- then start to walk back.

Drat. I forgot my change.

So I go back again. But instead of getting the change, I just use it to buy drinks. The amount was just exact for a couple of milkshakes. 

"Thanks, mister!" I grin at him again.

I think I turned too fast and so abrupt that I noticed too late I actually bumped into someone. A boy. He staggers backward and finally loses his balance and falls hard on his butt. 

That must have hurt.

I put down all the food I bought first then help him up.

"I'm so sorry!!! Are you okay?"

"I'm all right. Thanks" He shyly mutters then brushes the sand off his shorts. 

"Sorry, I wasn't looking too." He says, looking up at me. And I notice that he has bright blue eyes that perfectly complement his silvery blond hair. He looks kind of familiar.

"It's okay." I help him pick up the stuff he accidentally dropped on our collision. Art stuff. He has paints, brushes, and a canvas rather too big for his small size.

"Where are you going? You want me to help you carry all these?" I ask him with a friendly smile.

"No, thanks. I can manage. Besides, I'm still not sure where I want to stay. I've been looking for something beautiful to paint ever since I've arrived here… but no luck." He sighs.

"Oh. Okay then. I have to go. Hisoka's probably waiting for me." 

That's right. Better bring this before the food turns cold.

"Well, it was a pleasure meeting you, um…" He says, reaching his hand for a handshake. 

"Tsuzuki!" I grasp his hand. "And you are?"

"Ayase." And he gives me warm, childlike smile.

**~)-0-(~**

I go back to where I left Hisoka as fast as I can, but he wasn't there. The book lay on the smooth surface of the blanket, and there was nothing else. No Hisoka.

All right Tsuzuki, calm down. Just relax. Hisoka's fine. Nothing bad happened. He's just probably wandering around. Or maybe looking for a washroom. Or… or… 

No! I'm not going to think about that. When we came here there were no signs of that perverted idiot who harassed Hisoka at the casino. And there were positively no silver hair. No silver eyes. No red moon. No Muraki.

I turn in every direction, looking frantically while doing my best **not **to panic. 

Then for a fleeting second… I feel as though my heart had stopped.

There he is.

As Hisoka walks along the seashore, a flock of birds begin to land on the beach, showering him with a rain of feathers. He looks so ethereal under the morning rays of the sun. Wearing pure white, partly buttoned shirt and also white shorts, and with his soft hair glowing like a halo, Hisoka looks exactly like how I've always pictured angels to be.

But… why does he feel so far away… so hard to reach? Is it because all my life I've been called a… demon?

With these violet eyes… a color so bizarre for humans they could only think it's all because I'm not one of them. And since I'm not a human, what else could I be?

But Hisoka told me I'm human… just like him. I guess we're just different… special. We both long for a place to belong… to call home. 

And we found it in each other.

Whatever did I do to deserve an angel…?

He fixes his stare on the sea as he lets the tiny waves of water tickle his bare feet. For a very long while, I stand frozen and can't do anything but watch him. And before I even realize what I'm doing, I could feel myself walking towards him, my body moving on its own. Then I stand behind him and place my arms around his shoulders.

"Hisoka… don't ever fly away from me…"

"Tsuzuki…?" 

Even by just looking at the back of his head I could already imagine Hisoka's curious scowl. 

"I can't do that. I don't even have wings, silly." 

Then he relaxes and leans on me.

"Besides, even if I could… I still won't. Right now, being with you feels so… right. I don't think I could ever find a more special place than this. Just by your side."

**_~*~ "I decided a long time ago.....that my place to return to is here.... By your side only…" ~*~_**

Those were the very same things he told me when we were in Kyoto together. 

And again, I ask myself… What did I do to deserve Hisoka…?

Then I feel him stiffening.

"Tsuzuki… I… I just suddenly remembered something…"

"Hm?"

And he shivers slightly.

"Flames… and…" 

His hand rises up to clutch the fabric right above his chest. 

"S… Scared… I remember feeling so scared… Like what I dreaded most was about to happen… Like I… Like I was going to lose something… Something so important…"

I feel like I want to say something… but words just don't come out. So that was how Hisoka felt when I almost killed myself? That… was how much I hurt him…?

"Tsuzuki… was…" He stops and hesitates. "Was there a time when I… nearly lost you…?"

I bend down to kiss the top of his head. 

"Yes… there was."

He abruptly pulls away from me and grasps my shoulders, now facing me.

"Why? What happened?"

A bitter smile takes place on my face.

"I wanted to die." 

Is it really me who's talking? My voice feels distant.

Hisoka's hold on my shoulders loosens, and his arms fall on his sides.

"Why…?"

I hate seeing Hisoka's eyes like this. 

"Because it was too painful…" 

He looks away and glares at an invisible enemy on the white sand.

"Idiot. Did you even stop to think how I could have felt…?"

There's anger in his voice, but underneath it- and more audible- is the pain. 

Now that I think about it, he's right. I really am an idiot.

"To be honest… no. Not until I heard your voice. It was only then that it finally sank into this tiny brain of mine that I was going to hurt someone so much if I left him behind."

As he cried in my arms and begged… every soft sob pierced through my heart. I felt so guilty back then.

Then I touch his cheek.

"But it doesn't matter anymore. You called me back, and I'm here now. We're together… and that's what matters."

And I hug him tightly. But after a short moment my stomach growls again.

There you have it, the embarrassment of the century.

And I salvage myself with a sheepish grin. Brilliant.

"Um… let's eat?"

I almost forgot about the hotdog waffles and the milkshake.

**~)-0-(~**

t.b.c.???


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

They say that summer is the season of the sun. Someone tell me why the said sun suddenly disappeared and was replaced by dark clouds and roaring thunder. Of course, the rain had to fall down right when Hisoka and I went for a swim. Talk about perfect timing.

We hastily swim back to the shore to gather our belongings. I grab my coat and wrap it around Hisoka, and use the beach blanket to cover myself. Then we run back to the hotel along with the others who also had just gotten out of the water to seek shelter.

It's a good thing the elevators are just a few steps from the hotel's main entrance otherwise we would've been thrown out by the concierge for walking on these shiny marble steps dripping wet all over.

We ascend to our room and once outside the door, Hisoka pulls out from one of my coat pockets the book that he was reading earlier. He flips through the pages and stops at page 118 where he had apparently inserted the card key.

"Thank goodness. It's not wet." He sighs in relief. 

He swipes the card key and turns the knob to open the door. We walk in and I close the door behind me. As I put our stuff down, Hisoka heads straight for the bathroom and comes back out bringing a towel for both of us. "Here." He hands one of them to me, which I gladly accept. 

"This won't do. I'm going to take a shower." Hisoka tells me then saunters to the bathroom while I'm rubbing my hair dry. I guess he doesn't like the idea of taking a bath in the rain.

Cold. I peel off my wet shorts and dry myself. It always feels good to be in fresh, _dry_ clothes. An accidental glance at the window and I notice just now that the curtains are still open. It's a good thing that we're on the top floor or else that wouldn't have been what I'd call a not-so-embarrassing experience.

I was planning to let down the curtains, but the big drops of water distract me again. I always get the same feeling when it's raining. Looking at it makes me feel so relaxed and allows me to reminisce. The rhythmic pounding of the raindrops feels like the perfect background music for the sullen atmosphere brought by the gray surroundings.

_ ~ "Kohi-chan… Kohi-chan…" ~_

_ ~ "Asato-chan? Why are you crying…?" ~_

_ ~ "Kohi-chan won't wake up…" ~_

_ ~ "I see… I guess it's time for the little kitty to go…" ~_

_ ~ "But… but… I want to be with Kohi-chan forever…" ~_

_ ~ "Asato-chan, in this world, nothing lasts forever… But, it's not the time that matters; it's how you cherished every moment of it. So if you find something you want to keep, hold it close to your heart… because it's meant to disappear someday. And when it does… it's gone forever." ~ _

"Yes… oneechan. I'll remember that. I won't let his hand ever slip away from mine."

The sound of the trickling water from the bathroom dies down and a swishing noise of the shower curtain signals that Hisoka is already done taking a bath. The translucent door opens and he steps out wearing a towel. _Only_ a towel. It's wrapped around his slim waist leaving the rest of his upper body bare.

I've always known that Hisoka has a shapely figure. Even with his clothes on, I could easily make out his perfect curves. But now that I can see what's underneath those long-sleeved shirts that he's so fond of wearing, I only have one thing to say:

I never thought that my little partner could be this… sexy.

Once again I can feel my body moving on its own. As my feet slowly take me to him, I begin to feel a fluttering sensation my stomach, as if it has butterflies in it. Then I stop right in front of him and touch his cheek, making him automatically blush. Through a caress, I feel the smooth contour of his jaw then I move my fingers down to his slender neck and shoulder. I love feeling the smooth surface of his flawless skin. And I let my index finger trail down… down… down… until I reach the towel wrapped around his waist. I play with the edge of the rough fabric until I spot the tiny fold holding it together. 

And with a single flick of my finger…

"You PERVERT!!!" 

Hisoka's voice shatters my eardrums before something hits me on the face. Hard.

"Owww…" I moan in pain as I try to soothe my broken nose by running gentle rubs over it.

I look at him to demand what's wrong and I notice only now that he had just walked out of the bathroom, breathing fast and very red in the face. 

And he's wearing a bathrobe… not a towel.

Darn it. 

Another daydream. I've been doing that more often lately. And Hisoka sleeping next to me every night since we came here isn't helping me get rid of them at all.

"In case you've forgotten, I'm an empath. I could sense your…" And his blush deepens "naughty thoughts… Even from the other side of this wall!" He scolds, pointing at the bathroom. 

"S… Sorry… Hisoka." I stammer.

I can't look him in the eye, so I opt to keep my head down. That's when I see a bar of soap on the floor. Oh. So that was what hit me.

Hisoka briskly walks to the cupboard and hastily snatches some clothes. He walks back into the bathroom to change there instead.

I guess I've gotten myself in trouble. Again.

Oh! I know!

I dash to the kitchen eager to make a cup of tea for him. Peace offering? Maybe. But I guess I'll make one anyway because I'm sure he's feeling cold by now after what happened earlier. Besides, it's always nice to sip warm liquid after taking a shower. It balances the cold feeling by warming the insides.

I fill the kettle with water then put it above the stove. I check the cabinets for tea packs but find none. Oh dear… I forgot that we still haven't bought any groceries yet.

"What are you looking for?" Hisoka asks upon entering the mini-kitchen, now wearing a fit, navy blue sweatshirt and jeans.

"Um… I was hoping to make tea but we don't have any."

I walk over to the stove and switch it off. No use heating water now.

"Hm… we're out of food too. What do you say we go out and buy some groceries?" Hisoka asks with his usual mellow voice.

"You… you're not mad at me anymore?" I ask, still nervous.

Wrong move. Hisoka answers my question with a deadly glare.

"Don't push your luck." He answers, frighteningly calm.

**~)-0-(~**

The walk out of the hotel was filled with uneasy silence. Even now that we're out here walking in the damp streets, neither of us starts a conversation. I don't dare talk fearing that if I say the wrong thing, I might ignite Hisoka's wrath and make him snap. Trust me, I know how scary he can get when he's angry.

The rain has stopped, but it's still very cold. Even if his sweatshirt has long sleeves, Hisoka is visibly shivering. Now I wish I brought my trench coat. I'd wrap it around him, but it's soaked so I left it in the hotel room. 

"Excuse me." Hisoka mutters after sneezing.

"Did you catch colds?" I ask him. Then I walk closer to him and feel his forehead with my palm.

"I think I have one coming." He sighs.

I survey him and he does look pale. 

"Do you want to go back?" I ask, my anxiety very audible.

Hisoka shakes his head. "No, it's okay. The convenient store is just one more block from here anyway. Let's just buy what we need as fast as we can then head back."

"Are you sure?" I ask him, and he answers with a nod.

"By the way, how much money did you bring?"

I fish my pockets for my wallet. Not here. Wait, if I remember it correctly, the last time I touched that was when I bought breakfast this morning, then…

Uh-oh.

So I said Hisoka's wrath is scary. I think I forgot to mention the part that I never seem to learn my lesson.

"Um… um… Hisoka…?" I start, very- _very- _nervous.

"What?" He looks at me, eyebrows raised in curiosity.

"I… er… left it." I'm biting my lower lip now. "The wallet." I finish and automatically cover my head.

"You WHAT!!!?" He cries out in surprise.

"I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" I frantically utter, cowering in fear.

"Tsuzuki, how do you expect to buy anything _without _any money!?" He reprimands, almost yelling at me.

"I forgot that it was still in my trench coat!" I desperately try to explain.

"Really." He sighs in exasperation then turns on his heel. He starts to head back to the direction of the hotel but I step in front of him and put my hands on his shoulders. "You don't need to go back. I'll do it. You just go ahead to the convenient store and get what we need. I'll be back as soon as I can, okay?"

Hisoka scowls at me with that very cute scowl of his again, but his expression soon softens.

"Oh all right."

**~)-0-(~**

I race back to our room and get my wallet from my still soaked trench coat. Lucky the bills in it didn't get wet. Right, now that I'm done here, I should get going. Hisoka doesn't seem to be feeling well so it's not a good idea too keep him waiting.

I sprint to the elevator and out of the hotel. The moment I step into the street outside the resort, I see someone being roughly pulled into one of the hidden alleys. I hide on the corner first then slowly sneak closer to them. From what I can see, there are two men holding the young boy as he struggles to get free. There's another guy leading them and keeping watch at the same time. 

The kid's hands are tied and he's also blindfolded. His screams are muffled by another piece of cloth tied around the back of his neck, covering his lips. His voice is also nearly inaudible because of the roaring thunder. 

And, as expected, the rain pours down again.

Perfect. I could use this to my advantage. I check if there are no witnesses first then turn myself invisible and rush to the boy's aid. I reach them just in time to stop them from getting him into the car. I get behind one of the two guys holding him and hit the back of his neck, knocking him out. Now I only have two more goons to worry about. 

The other guy holding the boy abruptly turns to look at his accomplice when he collapses to the ground. I deliver a rough punch to his face and the blow knocks him out too. The last one remaining freaks out after seeing what happened to them and runs off.

I turn myself visible again and half kneel beside him to untie the blindfolds, then the thin nylon rope binding his wrists. I have a slight problem undoing the tight knots for a couple of minutes before I finally see who it is.

"Ayase."

His initial reaction was to glare but upon recognizing me he sighs in relief.

"Oh. It's you. Thank you… for saving me." He smiles wanly.

"Are you okay?"

Obviously not. Nice question, Asato. 

"Yes… Yes, I'm okay." Ayase answers. He's cold, had been forcefully dragged all the way into this alley and had just nearly been kidnapped. He's obviously lying. 

"Let's go back to the hotel. You've had a rough time." 

I get up and offer a hand to him. He takes it and gets on his feet.

"Thanks." He takes a deep breath to calm down and we head back. 

**~)-0-(~**

It's a good thing they were handing out towels to the customers at the lobby due to the sudden downpour of rain, because we were already awfully drenched by the time we got back. We take a seat at one of the sofas to loosen up a bit. Ayase looks like he's already feeling okay but he still seems a bit tense. He's staring fixatedly at some invisible point in space.

"Ayase, who were those guys?" I ask him to wake him from his thoughts. 

"Just another one of them I suppose…" Ayase answers with a casual shrug.

"Them who…?" I press on.

"People who want to kill me. Typical. I'm used to it already." He answers impassively, his voice distant.

"There are people who want to kill you? Why?" I'm nosy. I know.

"I… have something that they want. My father refused to give me to them, so they killed him when I was just five. Even until now, they're still after me. It's a wonder I'm still alive. But… I am thankful they haven't touched my mother. Probably because they know that if they kill her, I'll follow right away." He conveys, trying his best to sound calm but his voice has a very obvious note of melancholy.

"Don't worry. As long as I'm here, I'll protect you." I lay a hand on his shoulder. 

Another rash promise, and if Hisoka was here, he'd have smacked me by now. But I can't help it. Ayase sounds so… lonely. So, I want to help him.

Speaking of Hisoka… Oh no, I completely forgot about him. Poor thing, he must be waiting for me.

"Thanks… but I don't want your protection. I've had enough of people dying because of me… just like my father." Ayase softly voices out with a wavering voice. "I wish… I just wish that they'd leave us alone…" He begins to sob.

Without any second thoughts, I wrap my arms around him and pull him into a hug. I try to comfort him by rubbing his back. I absently look around the lobby as more and more people enter and begin to fill the room. They probably decided that since they can't go out anyway, they might as well spend the rest of the day here. 

The entrance door opens and in comes a familiar figure, holding a bag of groceries. Hisoka's back. He looks around and his gaze stops at our direction. I smile at him but he doesn't respond. He merely continues to stare at us with a stunned look on his face.

And he runs off to the elevator.

I wonder what's wrong…?

"Arigatou, Tsuzuki-san." Ayase pulls away and dries his tears.

Oh no.

**~)-0-(~**

tbc???


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

****

"Sorry, but I have to go." From the corner of my eye I could see Ayase's surprised expression, but I have no time to explain. I have to catch up to Hisoka before he starts to think of… things. A picture paints a thousand words, but I wonder what kind of words formed in Hisoka's mind when he saw us. More importantly, what kind of words would come out of his mouth when I face him. I think the second one is more of a threat.

I dash to the elevator but the doors close just right before I get in. Great. Why didn't these two other elevators wait for me before it went up anyway? Have to calm down. Think, Tsuzuki, think… No time to wait. I'll have to go for the stairs.

Ten floors. Just ten flights of stairs and I could barely catch my breath. Sure, a _shinigami_ is immortal but that doesn't mean I don't get tired too. And hungry. At this rate, I think I'll be able to finish twenty servings of dinner tonight. No. I can't think of food right now. Especially if Hisoka might not even cook dinner for me because of what he saw.

Wait just one minute. Why the hell am I even bothering with the stairs when I can just fly my way up? Of course! This is a fire exit after all. I doubt someone else will come here unless it's urgent. How many people get into the kind of emergency I am in anyway. A quick check first if there are any witnesses.

The coast is clear. Here I go! Ouch. Something hard hit my head. Again. That's the second time already. What, is today the national head lump day or something? Stupid railing.

Flying feels so good. The wind brushing through my cheeks is so relaxing that it makes me drowsy. Of course, we all know what will happen to me if I sleep in mid-air so that's a no. 

Almost there… just a couple of floors more. At last, I made it. I bet I'm going to eat a **lot** for dinner. That's saying something from someone with a stomach like mine. But more than food, I have to think of Hisoka first. What will I tell him…? No scratch that. Not what. I'll tell him the truth of course. Problem is, **how** I will tell him.

It's elementary thing to know how to open a door. Even a toddler could do that. But why does it seem so hard for me? What will I say when I go in? How will I explain it to him? But… but... I didn't do anything wrong did I? Of course not. 

Yup. That's right. I have nothing to fear. Absolutely nothing.

Not even Hisoka's wrath.

"Hisoka… I know you're in there and you can hear me. Could you give me a moment to talk to you?"

No answer.

"Hisoka, please… I just want to tell you something."

Still nothing. Fine, then I won't stop until he opens the wretched door.

"Damn it, Hisoka. Just let me have a second to explain! Please…"

And he opens the door. Good.

He's got an irritated frown on his face. Not good.

"It wasn't locked. Idiot." Oh. Now I really feel so stupid. He rolls his eyes at me. He's cute even when he does that. Oh well, I guess Hisoka makes me forget everything.

"Ever heard of a thing called a _doorknob_?"

Even doorknobs.

He walks to the kitchen and opens the bag of groceries he brought in earlier. He takes out a bowl of instant ramen and fills it with water from the kettle I was supposed to heat before we left. I can tell he's avoiding my eyes. No, in fact, he's avoiding _me_. 

"Hisoka… about what you saw…"

"Just let it stay put for a few minutes then you can eat it." He coldly cuts in. Then he sets the steaming bowl down on the dining table. 

"Listen, I…" but before I could even start, he speaks again. 

"I'm going to bed." He tells no one in particular and strides out of the room.

I follow him but he walks into the bathroom. I definitely can't follow him there. His clothes, I just noticed, were wet. 

But he's taking far longer than necessary. Usually it takes him less than three minutes to change into his pajamas, but now it's almost a quarter of an hour and he's not out yet. What, did he just decide he'd sleep in the bathroom instead? If that's his way of avoiding me I won't buy that.

That's it. Whether he likes it or not I'm coming in. 

And that includes whether he's finished dressing up or not.

Hisoka's on the floor. Unconscious. 

And he's not sleeping…. he fainted.

Damn it.

"Hisoka! Hisoka!" Shaking him roughly isn't even waking him. No wonder, he's burning with fever! I have to get him to bed. Put my arms around him and lift him up. Sometimes I find it hard to believe that Hisoka even eats at all. If it weren't for the fact that he's breathing- and might I add breathing shallowly right now- I'd think that he was just a stuffed doll. A very, very beautiful doll that even a real human could easily fall in love with.

Usually what Ruka does when I have a fever is get a bowl of water and mix some alcohol in it. Then she dips a piece of cloth and puts it on my forehead. I hope it works for Hisoka too. But he's shivering a lot and the blanket's not much help. I guess I have no choice. I'll just have to face the consequences if he gets mad at me tomorrow.

Sneak under the blanket and put my arms around him. There. That ought to keep him warm. After a while his shivering considerably lessens, so I hold him tighter and pull him closer to me. I can feel my eyes dropping too. Better switch off the lights before I follow him to the world of dreams.

**~)-0-(~**

_ Rice balls… rice balls… wait for me… I want you to meet my stomach! Here little rice balls… come to papa… come to my stomach like good little rice balls…_

_ Wait… rice balls don't fly… and they're eaten, not chased around… _

_ They certainly don't ring either._

Ringing? 

Oh. It's not the rice balls. It's the telephone.

"Moshi-moshi, Tsuzuki desu." 

"Tsuzuki-san?" Ayase speaks from the other end. "Sorry, did I wake you up? You still have bedroom voice." Sharp kid.

"Well, yeah… you kind of woke me up. Why'd you call at this hour of the day anyway? It's just…" A glance at the alarm clock and the red numbers show it's already 10:30 in the morning. Ten-thirty!? "Uh… what I wanted to say was… it doesn't matter at all!" Lame excuse, I know. "Did you want something?" 

"Anou… _okaasama_… she found out about what happened yesterday and she said that she wanted to meet and personally thank you for helping me. So I'd like to invite you to come over for dinner. Could you come? Please? It's really the least I can do."

Dinner!? Did someone mention food??? 

"Of course!!!" Who am I to refuse food offered to me? "I'd love to come! I…" 

Movement.

Hisoka's stirring. He's still sleeping and is right next to me. And to think that for a moment there, I almost forgot about him. Almost. No, really.

"Oh, wait… I'm sorry, Ayase, but I might not be able to come because I have to take care of Hisoka. He's sick right now." 

And it was my fault for making him wait. How many times do I still have to hurt him before I learn…?

"He's the one I'm staying here with." I add at once after hearing his curious 'Who?'

"Oh…" Ayase sighs, disappointed.

"Hey, listen… If he feels better by tonight, then why not… Cheer up, ne?" 

"Okay!" I could already see him smiling. "You two should come together then. I'd love to meet him." 

That's right. I forgot that they haven't met yet. 

"Yes… I'm sure Hisoka would be glad to meet you too." After I explain everything to him anyway. 

Ayase then dictates the directions to his house and I write it down on a piece of memo pad to make sure I don't forget. He gives me his phone number too, in case we get lo… I mean, in case we won't be able to make it because Hisoka's still not feeling well.

"Okay, got it!" Just have to jot down a few more side notes and that's done.

"See you tonight then!"

And we both hang up.

**~)-0-(~**

Well now, it seems it's my turn to cook again. The ramen Hisoka prepared last night is spoiled, so I can't reheat it for breakfast. Actually, it's not breakfast anymore but brunch. I have to check the contents of the grocery bag. Wait… If he didn't have any money yesterday, then how was he able to buy these?

Footsteps.

Is he up already?

He is. He has changed clothes too. And he's heading straight for the door.

"Where are you going?" 

He doesn't even spare me a glance. He just walks on and acts as though I don't even exist. Oh, right. I'm still subject to his silent treatment. But I'm stubborn. And he knows that darn well. I'll pick him up and carry him up to bed if I have to. Of course, that would mean possibly another year of him not speaking to me. But I'd be more willing to risk his rage than his health.

Mentally chanting a prayer that he wouldn't snap, I walk closer to him and hold his wrist, which is still fairly warm.

"You're not supposed to be walking around yet. You have to lie down and rest." There. That was simple enough. Just that I tried to make it sound casual but miserably failed.

He breathes out an impassive sigh.

"I just want to go out for some fresh air. I… I don't like the feeling of being bed-ridden for too long especially when I'm sick. Somehow it feels… nostalgic. I hate it. Must've been because I died of a disease." He softly conveys with eyes cast down then roughly yanks his hand away.

And he steps out of the room.

Deep down, I guess he still has a faint memory of when he was slowly dying in the hospital because of that bastard's curse. Slowly being dragged to his death… agonizing pain to his very last breath… I couldn't bear even just thinking of how much he must've suffered. How much he must've wished for a quick, painless death that **he **deprivedhim of. 

_ ~ 'An inelegant manner of death was not befitting for such a lovely boy.'~_

A beautiful death for a beautiful soul eh…? To hell with you and your lopsided way of thinking, Muraki. I'll never forgive you for what you did to him. 

Never.

If I didn't realize what I was doing I would've already pierced through my coat, glaring daggers at it. 

"Hisoka! Wait for me!"

**~)-0-(~**

It's a good thing I caught up with him before the elevator closed. We go down in total silence, Hisoka's eyes focused on the floor and mine absently staring at the numbers lighting up one by one in decreasing order. The elevator stops at the ground floor and I just tail behind him all the way to the beach. 

He's not talking to me again, damn it.

The weather's still cold out here on the shore, but it's not as bad as yesterday's. It's cloudy though, making it feel like it's already late in the afternoon. All the same, I wrap my coat around him. It's a good thing I grabbed it before going out of our room.

He mutters a soft _'Arigatou'_

Hey! He actually **talked** to me! Whispered, anyway, still! I can grab this as an opportunity to speak with him again.

"_Anou_… Hisoka…" What to say… what to say… "Are you hungry?"

Brilliant idea. Of course, unsurprisingly, he shakes his head. Really, I might have the power to control twelve _shikigami_, but I couldn't even handle such a simple thing called a 'proper conversation'. Yes, with Hisoka, talking to him is a different story, but that's no reason for me to chicken out.

Okay, round two.

"_Anou_… I've been meaning to ask you… how did you buy those groceries yesterday? If I remember correctly, you didn't have any money with you right?"

If I remember correctly, I have a thing called brain for me to use. Damn it, Tsuzuki. Exactly **why **did you have to remind Hisoka of whose fault it was that he waited in the convenient store, got soaked by the rain and therefore got sick? 

"Well, it was an accident, really. I was just waiting for a certain **someone**…"

I do _not_likehow he's talking with a calm voice right now. He's just like Tatsumi, the softer the tone, the deadlier it gets. With their type, I better be thankful when they're yelling at me. 

"When I was picking up the stuff that we needed to get, I suddenly felt nauseous… I couldn't see clearly for a moment so I fumbled around. Then I accidentally bumped into someone and consequently, he dropped his groceries. I apologized to him but he seemed startled when I did. He surveyed me for quite a while, slightly gaping at me." That last bit made him blush "Then he smiled."

A cold wind blows and he pulls my coat tighter around himself.

"Anyway, he asked me if I was with someone. He said I couldn't have possibly gone out on my own because I looked like I was about to faint any moment. So I told him that I was. But you never came, and I… began to feel uncomfortable…"

Right. In other words, he was worried. Hisoka's so cute when in denial like this. I could still clearly remember our very first case… He was worried about me when I tried to lure Maria Wong. That was the first time I realized that he also cared for his partner.

"I then decided that I'd just go back first and think about buying later. I was about to leave when he stopped me. He said that he'd be willing to pay for them. I refused but he was really stubborn- said that I'd be doing him a favor if I let him because I looked like someone close to him. I had no time to argue with him so I let him do as he pleased. Then I quickly thanked him and left. It was raining but, heck, you were more important than getting my clothes wet."

And that was one of his favorite sweatshirts too… the one I gave him on our first Christmas together.

But more than his clothes, I think he's just too shy to admit that he didn't mind risking his health.

All because he was worried about me. 

And what did he get when he came back…? 

Really. Why do I always seem to hurt those close to me even without meaning to…?

As if on autopilot, I just move closer to him and grasp his shoulders then tilt his chin up to make him face me.

"Tell me honestly, Hisoka. How did you feel when you saw us yesterday? There must've been a reason for you to run off like that."

But he looks away.  
  


"You're hopelessly dense, you know. How do you think I felt? How do you think any lover would've felt…?" 

The look in his eyes says it all. I've hurt him much more than I thought I did and I have to fix this. Now.

"Listen… there's nothing between us, okay? It was just a coincidence. I saw someone being dragged into the alley and I knew the kid was in trouble. I didn't even know it was Ayase- he's the one we saw at the lobby playing the piano the other night, by the way- until I was already able to help him. When you saw us hugging, I was just trying to comfort him and that was all. Nothing more."

This time, he really meets my eyes. He gives me a skeptical look first, his eyes searching mine… then his expression soon softens. "Honest…?"

"Honest. You didn't think I was cheating on you… did you?" Okay, I think that was too blunt.

He shifts uncomfortably.

"Well, yes…" He looks far away into the azure sea, where the sky and water meet in the horizon. "But I didn't want to accept it. At my condition right now, if I couldn't trust you then… who else _can_ I trust?" He has that vulnerable look in his eyes again… as if he's lost… alone.

"You can trust me. I promise you that." And I raise my right hand to emphasize it.

He motions to hold my hand, but stops and gives me a hesitant glimpse. A simple smile is all it takes to banish his doubt and he holds my hand.

"I trust you." He softly yet wholeheartedly admits.

More than words, his eyes tell me that I hold more power over him than what's safe for both of us… especially him. One wrong move and I could condition his mind never to trust anyone… to make him close his heart all over again.

And we'll be back to zero. Again. 

Or worse.

No. I'll never let that happen. I swear.

What's in his eyes? The magic of staring at him never seems to fade away. The feeling's just as fascinating as when I first saw him. In fact, if I'm not mistaken, his eyes seem to become even more beautiful everyday. The innocent gleam they hold perfectly matches his angelic features. And whenever I stare at him (as I am doing now… again), the world just disappears. And as our cold, gray surroundings slowly vanish, I feel like I'm getting closer to him.

Closer…

And this time, not just the surroundings vanish… 

So does the hesitation I've always had about letting him know how I feel for him.

Who would've thought that someone who never ate sweets could have such honeyed lips…? 

How long has it been since I started dreaming about this? After all these years, the moment I've been waiting for has come. To think that there was a point when I surrendered to the thought that I should just be contented playing all of this in my imagination, thinking it would never happen.

Now I'm starting to believe that maybe Watari was right.

Maybe all of this was bound to happen in time.

We'll both lose our breath if we don't stop for now. Although I wish it could've been longer, still, I think this is enough for both of us. Yeah, right. Having the guts to say that after a full five minutes of kissing… people might start to think I'm taking advantage of my partner.

"Wha… What did you just do?" Hisoka asks, breathless and flushed.

"I just told you how much I love you without words."

His blush deepens and he looks away, very embarrassed. 

"I… I'm going back to the hotel for now. I… I… uh… I want to rest. I'm tired." He mumbles, looking everywhere but my direction.

His timidity never fails to make me chuckle, but I have to hold back any more giggles because Hisoka's deadly glare tells me to shut up or answer to him.

****

**~)-0-(~**

****

Well, at least now I didn't have to worry about telling Hisoka that Ayase invited us to come over for dinner. It's a good thing Ayase gave the directions to his house. At least now we don't have much trouble looking for it. Only, it wasn't a house. Not _just_ a house.

"Wow… this place is huge…" And from the corner of my eye I can see Hisoka's equally amazed expression. 

The place is roughly the size of five houses put together, and it has a gothic touch to it. Must be nice living in such a big house. But that won't work for me because with my sense of direction, I don't doubt I'd get lost even in my own house if it was that big. 

"That's odd… the gates are open…" Hisoka tells me, tugging my sleeve.

Maybe they're already expecting us…?

"Should we go in and take a look?" I barely took a step before Hisoka slightly pulled me backwards. "I… I have a bad feeling about this."

"Then all the more why we should take a look inside, ne?" I hold his hand to let him know I'm here. And that I'll never let anything happen to him. He glances inside apprehensively then looks up to me and nods. "All right."

We cautiously make our way in. I could faintly feel something… different. As if there's an unknown presence inside. I know I've felt it somewhere before but I just couldn't put my finger on it. 

And before I could even start to mull over it, a very strong force engulfs us. Neither Hisoka nor I could move. Then a loud sound erupts out of nowhere. Three times at that. Gunshots? There's definitely something very wrong here.

A long, tense silence takes place. I couldn't even move to ask Hisoka if he's all right. But I can feel him, so he's definitely still beside me. Kind of frozen in time, just like I am. Another surge of power. This time, a different one. I don't know whether it's from the same person or not, but the second one releases us from the spell that held us down.

"Hisoka, are you okay?" I hurry over to him and look at him intently to see if he is.

He looks up at me with puzzled eyes.

"What happened? For a moment I felt something really disturbing, like… how to say it… like the emotions that I was supposed to feel through my empathy just… disappeared. It's either that or my empathic sense temporarily died." He bites his lower lip.

"I wish I knew." So that I can do something… anything… to lessen the worry he's obviously feeling right now. "But I think the best thing we can do for now is get inside and try to find out just what exactly happened."

We make a dash for the main door and hastily get it open. The moment we step inside, a disturbing sight meets us.

Bodies sprawled on the floor… all splashed with blood.

What the hell happened here…? 

**~)-0-(~**

Translations:

Ø _moshi moshi_ ~ "Hello" (telephone use)

Ø _Tsuzuki desu_ ~ It's Tsuzuki.

Ø _Okaasama_ ~ mother (correction provided by **tearlesereph**... Thank you!! ^^)

Ø _Shikigami ~ _mystical creatures summoned from an alternate world (?)

(If I made mistakes in my translations, please feel free to correct me. It'll be much appreciated. =^w^=)


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 

     "Ayase!" In the middle of the corpses I could easily spot Ayase. Thank goodness he's still alive. Well, he's unconscious but he's still breathing. Hisoka examines the body of a woman lying next to Ayase, her clothes stained with blood all over. He checks her pulse but after a minute he looks at me and sadly shakes his head. The other bodies are swimming in pools of blood and are undoubtedly dead as well. 

     "We're the only ones here now. I can't sense any other presence aside from ours. Tsuzuki… I think we're too late." I hate to admit it but Hisoka's right. Damn it all. Whoever did this got away this time. But I swear… I swear I'll find that culprit and make him pay. 

     "But we can still save him." He gestures to Ayase. Right. No use being frustrated over this when there's nothing I can do about it now. 

     So I pull out a _fuda _and shape it into a messenger. It's the white bird I always use to send messages to _EnmaCho_ or to find people. I remember using this once when we were aboard Queen Camellia and didn't have any other means of communication working. 

      "I requested for reinforcements. Other _shinigami_ will be here n just a few moments. For now, we need to take Ayase to Watari." 

     Hisoka obediently nods. He holds on to me and together, we teleport back to _Meifu_.

**~)-0-(~**

     Luckily, Watari was still in his lab when we came back. Now he's tending to Ayase while Hisoka and I wait here on a cushioned bench outside the infirmary. Hisoka leans to me and breathes out an exhausted sigh. 

     "Go home and rest." I say while I run my fingers through his hair. He still had a slight fever this afternoon and I doubt what happened tonight helped him feel any better. But he shakes his head. "No… don't want to. Not while you're here and we've still got work to do."

     That's my partner. Always stubborn.  He's dedicated to work, I know, but sometimes he just pushes himself too much. He'll keep on working even though he barely has any energy left. 

     "Fine, but you should at least take a nap. There are still empty beds at the infirmary. You can sleep there. I'll just let you know if something comes up, okay?" 

    He looks up at me and smiles wanly. 

     "Tsuzuki… I'm okay. Really. Besides…" He wraps his arms around my waist and snuggles closer. "I'd prefer to take a nap right here with you… because I want to make sure that you… don't… go hard on yourself… over this…" He says in between yawns. His eyes droop and he soon falls asleep.

     "How can I say no when you're being cute like this…" 

     And I kiss his forehead, whispering 'goodnight'.

**~)-0-(~**

     "zuki… Tsuzuki…" 

      Someone's shaking my shoulder. 

     "Tsuzuki… wake up…" 

     I don't want to. I feel so comfortable. No. I don't want to wake up. 

     "There's a caramel-coated muffin with chocolate filling waiting for you."

     "Huh!? Where???" 

     Watari beams at me. Darn it, he tricked me!

      "I knew that'd wake you up." He laughs. "Hey listen… As much as I hate to disturb your really sweet position…" He smirks. And that's when I feel Hisoka's arms still around me but now mine are also wrapped around him. "You'll both get cramps if you stay there any longer." 

      I reluctantly peel Hisoka's arms off, but gentle enough not to wake him up. I lift him up and lay him down on a bed beside Ayase's. Ayase is still asleep too. After fixing Hisoka's blanket, then Ayase's, I softly close the door then go back out to Watari. 

     From Watari's huge eye bags I can tell that he stayed up all night. Maybe he did a search. "Anything?" He looks at me curiously. "I mean, about the case."

     "Oh. Nope, nothing." He sighs. "I can't begin a search yet. We have no lead. I have no idea where to start."

     Too bad. "But what were you doing all night?"

     "For Bon… I was trying to look up some ways to dampen his empathy a bit. I mean, after his empathy made his mind crash like that, he's still very sensitive to emotions. And Tsuzuki…" He looks straight into my eyes. "I know I don't need to say this… but be careful not to let very strong feelings get to him and more importantly, to spark a strong emotion in him. In other words, don't ever do anything to hurt him." He holds my shoulder and gives me a friendly smile. "I trust you won't anyway… it's just… if Bon ever experiences an intense emotion in him… I'm afraid his loss of memory might become irreversible. And that's the least that can happen."

     "Thanks Watari. I'll take note of that." He really cares a lot about Hisoka. Well, he's been Hisoka's 'personal doctor' for as long as I can remember so I'm not surprised.

     "Are you still going to sleep?" He asks with that seemingly innocent smile again. "No… I'm not sleepy anymore." 

    "That's great! Can you help me then?" Why do I have this feeling that I should have slept instead… "What about?" 

     "Remember that empty office across the infirmary? I asked Kachou's permission if I could transfer there. I just thought that since I'm also the doctor it would be more convenient if my office were nearer to the infirmary." He chirps happily then takes me to his lab. Well, I'd be happy to help him with anything as long as it doesn't have anything to do with his lab nor his not-too-safe experiments. 

     "So let me guess, you want me to help you transfer your stuff?" He nods, grinning from ear to ear. I was afraid he would.

     "Bingo!" 

     "WHAT? **All** these? Watari you've got to be kidding! It'll take us **years**!" Yes, even if there are two of us.

     "No, no… not all. Tatsumi agreed with Kachou to make it my office, not my lab. He said the infirmary is a place of recovery and if I transfer the lab near there, whoever's in the infirmary will be at risk of being killed. _Really_, he talks like he doesn't trust me at all!" Watari waves his hands in the air exasperatedly. 

     I won't say this out loud, but I second Tatsumi's decision. _Kami-sama _knows how many times he makes that deadly bomb of a lab explode everyday.

     "Anyway, the only thing I want to move right now is the pc. And I need your help to carry its parts and set it up. Once it's done we can begin the investigation." He unplugs the system unit and begins to detach some of the chords. "But we also need Ayase's help on this. We must know from him who killed those people first before we can begin the search. It's hard to trace without a lead." Then he hands the monitor to me. "That is, of course, assuming he is just a witness."

     "What do you mean?" His last sentence takes me by surprise.

     "Tsuzuki, those bodies were found dead and Ayase was there. Even though he was unconscious, don't you think it's strange that he didn't even have a single scratch on his body? You can't deny the possibility that he is also a suspect." Watari tells me without even looking as he continues to dismantle his computer set. 

     "Watari, don't say that. Please." It's not right to distrust Ayase, he's been through so much. "Just right before the night of the murder, he told me that there really were people after him. It's true. I personally encountered them. And I'm guessing the people responsible for the murder were also the ones who had him kidnapped."

     "Okay, I believe you. But what's bothering me is why everyone around Ayase was killed but he was unharmed. And besides, if they really were after him, why did they leave him there? They should have taken him by the time you arrived, isn't that right?" 

     "That's right…" That never crossed my mind but now, I think what Watari is saying makes sense. 

     "Oh well…" Watari's seriousness fades and his cheerfulness returns. "No use trying to crack our heads if we can't come up with any answers yet. Let's just wait for Ayase to wake up then we can ask him all these questions."

     "Okay, but give him a break first before questioning him okay?" I know we need to finish our job and solve this case and whatever but Ayase also needs to rest. 

     "Hai hai."

**~)-0-(~**

     It's amazing how Watari can memorize all those connections. I mean, he plugs so many chords into their different sockets without even bothering to use a manual or anything. Well, he has been using computers for as far back as I can remember but if it was me, I'd still be relying on all those instructions and guides to set this thing up. And even then there would still be no guarantee that I'd do it correctly. But Watari seems so confident so maybe he's sure of what he's doing.

     "That about does it." He beams widely after connecting plugging the pc. "Now let's see if it works."

     And after switching the device on the printer promptly goes boom.

     "Watari… why don't you use the manual…" I suggest before even thanking whatever force kept us alive after the explosion.

     "Why didn't I think about that?" Watari laughs. "But I was sure I did it right…" he puts a hand in his chin.

     "Watari!" 

    "All right all right! Geez…" And he rummages around his boxes to find the said manual.

     Watari hands the toasted printer to me. I was just about to give it a decent burial when someone knocks. "I'll get it." 

     When I open the door I nearly jump in surprise. 

    "Good Morning, Tsuzuki-san." Ayase greets me with a faint smile.

     "What are you doing out of bed!? You should be resting right now." I mean, you don't just expect someone who nearly became a murder victim just last night be up and about the next morning.

     "Can… can I ask for a glass of water?" He timidly speaks in a low voice.

     "Yes yes…  of course. Wait right here." I might as well get breakfast for us too. 

     So the break room it is. Oh goody! We're having sandwiches this morning. It's a nice change because we've been having donuts for the past months. Hisoka will like this. He doesn't like donuts too much. Says they're too sweet. I don't understand why sweet things don't appeal to him anyway. Oh, right. Correction, food in general doesn't interest him. I'll get one for him too anyway, and two others for Watari and Ayase. Speaking of Ayase… now where's that water dispenser.

     After filling the glass with cold water, I head back to Watari's new office. "Here." I hand each of them a sandwich. 

     "Thanks!" Watari cheerfully accepts his, but Ayase declines. "I'll just have the water. Thanks." He then takes the glass that's now damp from the coolness of the liquid it holds. He steps out of the lab, but halfway to the room across the sound of shattered glass that fell into the marble floor echoes through the hallway.

     "Ayase! Are you okay?" 

     "He kneels down and picks up the broken pieces. "Sorry. I… I felt dizzy for a moment. Don't worry I'll clean this up."

    "Let me help." Then I kneel beside him but he gently pries my hand away. "No please… let me do it. Don't make me feel any more useless than I was last night…" He conveys with sadness in his eyes almost too painful to look at. What happened must still be so fresh in his mind. 

     "Okay. I'll just get you another glass then." If that's what makes him feel any better.

     "Watari, I'll be back in a moment." Watari waves his hand from inside to let me know I heard him before I make my way to the break room for the second time.

**~)-0-(~**

    This time, I make sure that I get a styro cup used for coffee instead. Tatsumi will kill me if I risk another glass. That would entail additional costs for the break room expenses. And of course that would also mean my paycheck being gone for good. What's this? This glass tray was empty when I came here just a while ago. Better leave before someone sees me stealing another handful of mint balls.

     Wait a minute… I can hear voices coming from the hallway. Sounds like a heated argument. My steps hasten into a full run when I recognize one of them as Hisoka's. 

     "Let me go! Let me do this!" That's Ayase.

     "No! Killing yourself won't solve anything!" And that's Hisoka.

     What did he just say?

     I hurry up the stairs, taking two steps at a time then when I reach the landing I see Hisoka tightly grasping Ayase's wrists, keeping his hands away from each other. 

     "It's none of your business!" Ayase struggles. "I said LET ME GO!!!" 

     The moment Ayase yells Hisoka collapses. 

     "Hisoka!" I feel myself running like I've never done my entire existence. But I'm glad I caught Hisoka before his head hit the floor.

     "What happened here?" Watari asks from behind me. 

     "Emotional outburst…" The word merely goes out of my mouth as I pick Hisoka up. 

     A shard of glass that Ayase was holding slips from his hand- which I just notice bleeding- and clatters on the hard floor. "Wha… what happened to him?" Ayase asks, looking so lost.

     "I'll explain everything later. For now, please let Watari bandage your hands." Then I walk away and take my unconscious partner back to the infirmary.

     Gently lay him down. As I pull the blanket over him Watari comes in with Ayase. Ayase come over to my side at once. "Is he okay?" He anxiously asks. 

     "Don't worry about him. He'll be fine." And I lay a hand on Ayase's shoulder to reassure him. 

     "What happened to him?" he inquisitively looks up at me.

     "He's an empath." Watari explains. 

     "Empath?" Ayase questioningly echoes.

     "Other's people's emotions tend to rush inside of him against his will." Watari adds. 

     "He could easily synchronize with other people's minds… and get dragged in." I recall out loud. That was how Hisoka described it when I first found out about his power. 

     Ayase's eyes slowly widen in realization. "I… I'm so sorry…"

     "It wasn't your fault. You've been through so much last night. So it's just normal that you're emotionally unstable right now." The pain he's feeling must've been that intense to knock Hisoka out like that.

     "Tell me honestly, Ayase… You were planning to kill yourself, weren't you?" He looks down, making his hair cover his face. 

     "Ayase, killing yourself won't make things any better." 

     He suddenly looks up at me. "How would _you_ know!?" He asks at me heatedly, glaring at me.

     "Because I've done that and I've succeeded." 

**~)-0-(~**

tbc???


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 

     Ayase abruptly looks up at me, taken aback.

     "What did you just say?" He asks with widened eyes, stunned. Well, who wouldn't be? I just told him that the person he's talking to right now is… well, dead. What more if I revealed to him that everyone else around him is.

     "Come here for a sec" I hold his arm and lead him to the window then pull the curtains open to show him where he is. "Welcome to _Meifu_… the land of the dead."

     He gasps upon seeing the _Sakura_ outside in full bloom, which is in fact impossible since it is autumn season in _Chijou_. 

     "_Meifu_? So that means I… I'm dead…?" he looks up at me with shuddering eyes. "So… they killed me too in the end huh… I guess even if I did slash my wrists earlier it wouldn't have made a difference." He adds with a bitter smile.

     "No, you're not dead." Place my hands on his shoulder to calm him down. "We found you unconscious last night, but you were still breathing, which means you're still alive. So don't be surprised if I tell you that even until now you still are."  

     "Then why am I here? I don't get it. If I'm still alive, what would I be doing in the land of the dead? Unless you are…" He pauses for a moment and takes a step back, away from me. "No… it can't be. I mean, I'm talking to you face to face, and you could even touch me too… so it can't be. Tsuzuki, you're not… No. It's just impossible. You can't be…"

      "Dead?" I finish his sentence for him. "Like I said. I committed suicide before and I succeeded."

     "Well, to be more technically correct, we're not just your ordinary dead." Watari speaks this time after settling himself on the edge of the bed Ayase occupied last night, and I'm glad he did. I honestly have no idea how to explain this to poor, confused Ayase. "We are called _shinigami_, souls who still have a strong attachment to the world of the living thus we are given the power to still possess physical bodies even after death. Having blessed with this special ability gives us the opportunity to travel freely between the world of the living and the dead. Our job is mainly to pick up the souls of those who haven't died yet but are supposed to."

     And that's the bitterest part of this job. Killing in order to go on living… we're no different from vampires who suck the blood of innocent people for energy to move on.

    "But sometimes…" Watari continues. "We are also given the task to investigate unnatural deaths that often involve mysterious paranormal activities. And if I'm not mistaken, your case falls under that category." 

     "Okay… wait… Let me get this straight. I'm not dead… I'm with people called _shini_-something who are all actually dead but for some reason are not… So I'm the only one alive here and I'm surrounded by some kind of… '**zombies**'!?"

    "Um… that's not quite the right word…" I react on impulse, but he didn't seem to hear me.

     "Oh… right…" Ayase nods. "Yes, okay, I get it…"

     And he promptly faints.

     "Ayase!"

     My goodness… I guess because of the long time I've been working as a _shinigami_, I've forgotten how shocking it really is when someone hears it for the first time.

**~)-0-(~**

     I guess it was a bit inconsiderate for me to tell Ayase everything all at once when just last night he had nearly been killed. So now I have two people to watch over, because even Hisoka hasn't woken up yet since this morning's incident. 

     This is great. The last thing Hisoka needed was for another empathic shock to ruin his vacation. It's not that I'm blaming Ayase, but my partner needs to rest. For once I just wish for him that he could get away from people's emotions that keep rushing into his head. Besides, he has enough pain of his own. He doesn't need other people's misery to add up to his burdens. 

     And it had to happen just when we finally had a break… the chance to be finally all by ourselves. It almost felt like we were newly weds on a honeymoon. 

     I can't believe I just said that. Well, I kissed him but that doesn't mean we're already a couple. I mean, I told him I loved him, but he never said anything back yet. So until Hisoka gives me his answer, I'll just have to wait and dream. But the look in his eyes when he told me that he trusted me is enough to give me an idea what it will be. 

    Oh… I could almost see it, me and Hisoka… sitting on the park bench… staring at each other under the twinkling stars and the moonlit sky… with locked gazes… and as I drown in his glimmering eyes…

     Snap out of it, Tsuzuki. 

      I'm fantasizing again. I can't help it! Maybe it has something to do with me staring at Hisoka right now. I won't go into how adorably charming he is again, but it's like I'm bewitched to feel this fuzzy and warm sensation in my heart whenever I do. I could even remember the time when I first saw him so quiet like this, back on our very first case at Nagasaki. Gushoshin might not have noticed, but I was half serious when I said I wanted to kiss him.

     Well, it won't hurt if I steal a little kiss now, would it? Ayase's still asleep. Watari isn't here either, he went out a while ago to continue setting up his pc in his new office. And Hisoka won't know anyway…

     Perfect…

     As I stare at him even longer… I'm beginning to feel like a prince who's about to give a true love's kiss… just like in fairy tales.

     Awaken… my fair princess…

     Of course Hisoka will kill me if he heard that. 

     "Tsuzuki!!!"

     The door crashes open and in comes an extremely thrilled Watari. 

     Darn him. If I didn't know any better I'd think he did it on purpose. This is the second time he barged in on me just when I'm about to kiss my Hisoka!

     "Look! Look! Look!!!" He guiltily glances around at Hisoka and Ayase then smiles sheepishly. "Oops… sorry." Then he lowers his voice into excited whispers. "I think I've finally done it this time. But don't worry. It's not the undying sex-changing potion I've been working on forever. I'm not finished with it. Not** yet**. But anyway, this is a new one." 

     "Wait… wait… you came here just for **that**!?" Here comes the violent reaction on my part… but who can blame me!?

     "Of course I did! I want you to try it for me!" He enthusiastically exclaims with a 1 million megawatt smile.

     I could feel my hands stiffening and his neck looks really inviting. 

     "You know… I want to try something else…"

     He curiously raises his eyebrows at me.

     "I want to see… what happens to a _shinigami_ when choked to death!!!!" And I do just that.

     "Tsu… Tsuzuki! I… I can't breathe!!! Let… me… go…" He coughs out breathlessly.

    "What are you two doing?"

     A voice… Then giggling…? 

     "Tsuzuki-san, you can't kill him. He's dead." 

     When I look to my right, I see Ayase sitting up already, smiling… or probably more like holding himself back from bursting into a fit of laughter because of our antics. 

     "Hey… you're awake." And as if I've totally forgotten about Watari, my hold on him loosens, making him fall on the floor, crashing on his butt. And I rush to Ayase's side. "Don't pass out on us like that!"

     "Sorry…" He smiles sheepishly.

     "How are you feeling now?" I ask at once. Right, and sometimes I wonder why Hisoka used to tell me all the time that fussing is my favorite hobby. Actually, it's not. Staring at him while he sleeps is.  

     "Sure… just act as if I'm not here… I'll just go back to my lab and praise myself for being the genius that I am. You don't appreciate me anyway." Watari mutters to himself, sulking. He gets up and swiftly walks out of the room.   

    Ayase looks at me curiously.

     I just shrug in reply.

     "Don't mind him. Do you want something to eat? The sandwiches I got for you and Hisoka this morning are still untouched." I move to the bedside table and get one for him.

     "No, thanks… I'm not hungry." He shakes his head.

     "Can I have it?" What, he doesn't want it anyway.

    "Sure." He shrugs nonchalantly.

     "_Sankyuu_!!!" And I munch as though I haven't eaten for a year.

     Ayase pulls up a pillow and puts it on his back. He just silently leans, absently looking down at his bandaged fingers.

     "Ayase… Don't ever think of killing yourself again… okay? Death doesn't change anything. I mean, sure, after that the pain is gone. But it was never cured, you just ran away from it. You can change a **lot **of things while you're still alive. And even if you don't things around you **can** change you. Take it from me. I almost committed suicide for a second time." Ayase gapes at me upon hearing that. "But someone stopped me. And from then on… my life has changed." And his expression softens.

     "Just don't think that you're the only one going through this. There are a lot of people who are also suffering just like you. I'm one of them." And I give him a reassuring smile for that. "But you know… we are still lucky." He raises his eyebrows curiously and I turn to look at Hisoka. "At least, we suffer only from our own pain. Hisoka is different. He can feel all the emotions of everyone around him, which includes their negative feelings. Sometimes, their agony just surge into his mind even if he doesn't want them to. Sometimes… it's so sad to think that even as he tries to let his own wounds heal, fresh ones suddenly open."

     Then I feel Ayase stiffening. 

     "I… I'm so sorry…" And a drop of tear falls from his eyes.

     "No!!! No! I'm not saying it's your fault." I wave my arms in the air frantically. Really, I'm such a moron. How could I forget!? Nice going, me. I just reminded Ayase it was because of him that Hisoka collapsed.

     "Tsu…Tsuzuki…"

     Hisoka? 

     My head shoots to his direction and I notice that his face is grimaced. He's stirring. 

     It's as if…

     Oh no.

     "Hisoka!" I rush to his side and gently shake his shoulder.

     "Tsuzuki… Help me…" He softly moans.

     "Hisoka! Hisoka, wake up. You're having a nightmare." Shake his shoulders a bit rougher.

     "Tsuzuki!" He gasps and his eyes snap open.

     "Hisoka…" I brush the stray locks away from covering his eyes and cup his face. "Look into my eyes…"

     He does what I say and looks up at me, looking so lost. "I… I was calling you and… you never came… and…"

    "It was just a dream… A bad dream…" I sit next to him and pull him into a hug. "I'm here. You can feel me right?"

     He nods.

     I brush my fingers through his hair in an attempt to calm him down. After a few moments his panting slows down into even breaths.

     "That's it… Just relax…"

     He pulls away and closes his eyes for a deep breath. He looks straight into my eyes for a very long minute then he touches my face. 

     And all of a sudden, he pinches my cheek really hard.

     "OW!!!" I flinch and gently rub my probably swollen cheek. "What did you do that for?"

     "Just to make sure I'm awake." He blinks innocently.

     "Meanie." Stick my tongue out at him.

     He looks around the room curiously, and his gaze stops at Ayase on the bed next to him. Ayase pulls up his blanket to cover half of his face, but tinges of a slight blush are still visible. 

     "How are you?" 

     Hisoka's question makes Ayase's eyes widen momentarily before the latter looks down in embarrassment. 

     "I'm sorry…" Ayase mumbles, his voice muffled by the cloth he's holding over his mouth.

     "It's nothing. It wasn't your fault. I understand your pain… because I felt it. It must've been really hard for you." Hisoka tries to set Ayase's mind at rest.

    "But… But…" Ayase insists.

     Hisoka sighs and gets up.

     "Hisoka?"

     And before I can ask what he's doing, he walks over to Ayase's bed and stretches an arm out.

     "Hold my hand…" Hisoka requests and Ayase obediently does so.

     Then after a couple of minutes Hisoka slowly pulls his hand away. "See? Nothing happened. I can feel you're nervous but other than that, you're calm. And when you're stable like this you don't hurt me at all. What happened earlier was an accident and since you didn't mean it you have nothing to apologize for." 

     Then he walks back to his bed and sits down beside me.

     Ayase breathes out a relieved sigh and smiles warmly at Hisoka.

     "_Anou_… Tsuzuki-san… Can… Can I ask you a question?" He asks, not looking at me, rather fidgeting with the edge of his blanket.

     "Yes?"

     "Where did you bury her? My mother…" His grip on the blanket tightens.

     That's right… The woman we found dead… That was his mother. And I could remember Ayase mentioning her when he invited us to come over for dinner. He must've seen her when she was killed. How awful.

     "We'll take you there." It's the least we can do for him.

     "No." He shakes his head. "I… I want to do this on my own. Just tell me where she is and I'll just go there by myself. I want to have some time alone… to say goodbye."  

**~)-0-(~**

     I consulted with Kachou about Ayase's request and the old man consented. So we escorted Ayase only until back at the hotel and that was as far as we could go with him. From there he decided to go back to his house and change into black clothing as a sign of reverence before going to his mother's grave.       

     Hisoka and I then decided to stay at the hotel while we wait. Well, we aren't even halfway the one-month vacation we paid these accommodations for. So here we are again, back at our room. Me just lazily sprawled out on one side of the sofa while Hisoka quietly reads his book on the other. 

     "Hey… That's the book that got wet when it rained the other day." When we ran back here together, soaked all over.

     "_Aa_. It dried after a couple of days. I'm just glad none of the pages were damaged that seriously. It's still legible." He speaks but he doesn't even look up at me. 

     Boring… It makes me want to sleep.

     They say sleepiness is contagious. Maybe that's true because as if Hisoka read my thoughts, he closes his book and stifles a yawn. He gently places it on the center table and lies down, using my lap as pillow. As I run my fingers through his hair, he looks up at me. "Tsuzuki… there's something I didn't tell you earlier. It's about my dream… I mean, nightmare. I couldn't tell you because Ayase was there."

     I feel myself stop without thinking for a moment… then I continue to stroke his hair again. "Why? How is it connected to Ayase?"

     "I saw it. I saw everything that happened… the night his mother was killed." Hisoka softly conveys. "Watari-san told me this is also possible. Part of my ability is that I can sense even just remnants of really intense emotions and so… as a result, I could sort of peek into what happened in the past." 

     "Then what did you see…?" I feel reluctant asking him about it, but I have to. This might be able to help in solving Ayase's case, especially if… "Hisoka, please tell me. Did you see who did it!?"

     My sudden burst and full attention startles Hisoka but he continues anyway. "Ayase… saw everything. But when he came into the living room, his mother had already been stabbed. He was just too late." He's right. That night, when we found Ayase's mother she had stab marks. 

     "I see…" Poor kid. No wonder Ayase almost wanted kill himself. To have seen loved one die right in front of his eyes… and the fact that she was the only one he had left… who wouldn't want to commit suicide? Somehow, I cold see myself in him. Even if I don't remember it so well… come to think of it, maybe Ruka's death was what led me to madness. So much grief… that I even went as far as taking my own life.

     "Tsuzuki…" Hisoka holds my hand. "Is something wrong?" 

     "Oh nothing… Nothing." I ruffle his hair and before I realize what I'm doing I just bend down automatically and kiss his forehead. "Don't worry about me. A stray thought just crossed my mind."

     "Oh okay. Anyway… you wanted to know what the murderer looked like? I… I didn't see him very clearly because for a moment… I think I blacked out on one part of the dream." That must be when Ayase fell unconscious. "But… before you woke me up… I remember seeing him. He was there… holding the corpse of a woman… clothes stained with blood all over. After he killed he turned his attention to me. That was when I began to feel scared, and I called out your name. I guess I forgot that it wasn't happening to me… rather I was just seeing, or maybe reliving, what Ayase had ben through. I can't recall his face anymore… but I remember an outstanding feature he had. It was so peculiar… and somehow familiar…"

     Feature?

     "He had such cold, menacing eyes…. And the strangest color too…"

     No… don't tell me…

     "Such mysterious, silver eyes…"

    It's him.

**~)-0-(~**

continue…?


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

            I can't remember exactly when it happened. And more importantly, _how_ it happened. It just did and I didn't even notice a thing. All I know is that I just woke up one day and knew- _for sure_- I felt this way. And nothing could ever change it.

            Not a single day passed that he never crossed my mind. As I wake up in the morning, the melodic chirping of birds remind me of his soft and quiet voice. The lush green leaves plant visions of his brilliant green gaze even as I close my eyes while relishing the splash of warm water on my face in the shower. And as I drink coffee, I'm almost tempted to dip my fingers in the light brown liquid, blindly thinking that if I did I would feel his soft silken hair. 

            Ah… I'm hopelessly lost in you…

            "And hopelessly at Tatsumi-san's mercy if you don't work!"

            At the sound of his mellow voice I gracelessly fall off my seat. Oww…

            "Hi- Hisoka! How long have you been there?" I can feel heat rising in my cheeks.

            "Don't fret, I just came in. I didn't hear any of your monologue and don't need to for me to know what you were talking about. Honestly, don't you think of anything but food?"

If he only knew how wrong he is.

Better get up while he pulls a chair beside mine and settles down. He picks the scattered papers all over the desk and carefully compiles them all inside a folder. What a neat freak.

"Are you done reading through the reports?" I'm not even halfway done yet. Geez, why does Tatsumi always torture me with this kind of idle work?

            "Yes." How can he say that so casually? Oh right, that's my partner we're talking about. From the minute Tatsumi hands the papers to us, he memorizes everything written in it even just after one glance. His brain is an amazing thing. No, wait, everything about him is.

            "But I'm just wondering…" He slightly frowns. "Why do you think Tatsumi-san asked for our help in studying all these documents?"

            "Well, you're not allowed to do fieldwork yet. Watari will kill him if he lets Kaichou assign us another case because your recovery period's supposed to last one month, right?"

Knowing Tatsumi, he probably wanted to maximize all the manpower he can get. And when we came back, he must've noticed that Hisoka's already well enough to handle paperwork, so he settled for this. Well, I have to admit Hisoka's one of the brightest detectives we have. He's always a great help in linking the clues and completing the puzzle.

"Besides, this way it would be easier for Ayase too. Since he knows who's dealing with his case, maybe Tatsumi's hoping that Ayase will feel comfortable with us and eventually tell us what happened that night."

            "I guess you're right…" Hisoka replies absently, staring at the open window.

            "Why do you ask?"

His bangs sway when he shakes his head.

            "No, nothing… Just… I was just thinking if… What if Tatsumi-san actually wanted us to do fieldwork? But then he can't… because of me…" He softly conveys.

            Just one look in his shuddering eyes and I can already tell how he feels. Damn it, why does he always think of himself that way?

            "You'll get used to it." You're not as useless as you think… 

But he doesn't look convinced. "If it's any help, then let me tell you this, you were wonderful on your first case even though you were new to the business."

            That's right… Muraki almost killed me with that demon he summoned. Better take note to try and find out how a mortal like him has that ability. Oh but it's Muraki anyway… nothing you can't expect from that guy. Especially _evil_ things.

I was just lucky because at that crucial moment, Hisoka let me synchronize with him, no matter how painful and mentally exhausting it was- setting aside that he was also seriously injured at the time.

            "We encountered… a really tough opponent there, and I would've never made it out alive- er, all right I mean- if you hadn't been there." That much- and perhaps even more- he deserves to hear from me. "You're the best partner I've ever had." Walk closer to him and touch his cheek.

            As expected, a silent blush answers my gesture.

            The discreet 'ting' of the oven suddenly breaks our locked gaze. He pushes the chair backward and hastily gets up, "Breakfast is ready. I… I'll go set the table."

And he practically runs to the kitchen.

**)-0-(**

"So, where are we going to meet him?" Hisoka asks.

"At the port." Better make sure the door's locked. "Right, let's go!"

Last night, Ayase called us and said he wanted to take us somewhere. He didn't say where exactly, but left us with a rendezvous point. He said he'd meet us there at eight in the morning, so after eating breakfast we took off at once.

            At the port, we quickly spot Ayase sitting at the third bench from the lamppost nearest the entrance. Really, who'd miss that mop of hair bright as the morning sunshine and that even brighter smile.

            "Tsuzuki-san! Hisoka-san! Over here!!!" It's amazing how his arm manages to keep itself attached to its owner as Ayase waves at us a bit too enthusiastically.

            "Sorry. Did you wait long?" Smile sheepishly at him.

            "Nope. Just arrived here a couple of minutes before you did. So, are you ready?" Ayase chirps excitedly.

            "Yes, but where are we going?" I've been dying to ask. And Hisoka looks just as curious.

            "To a nearby islet. I always go there when I want some time alone to paint. There's a festival that's held there at this time of the year, but not many people know about it so the celebration is simple. But it's very beautiful." Ayase grins.

If it's an islet then that means we have to cross the sea. "But how do we get there?"

            "Um… we have a private yacht." Ayase smiles timidly. "My dad and I used to go there all the time." For a moment there was a glint of sadness in his blue orbs, which soon fades when he smiles at us. "All aboard!"

            So we go onboard, Ayase on the lead followed by Hisoka and me tailing behind them.

"It's impressive that you know how to maneuver a yacht at such a young age. I don't even know how to ride a bike." Never had the chance to learn that when I was young.

            Hisoka snorts. "How could you learn that when you're clumsy enough to trip over your own foot?"

            Ah… I remember that time all too clearly. We were rushing to _EnmaCho_ because we were already late. In my haste I tripped and fell over but Hisoka threw his arms around me in an attempt to help me regain my balance. I guess he forgot that I'm heavier than him so I ended up dragging him down with me. But I managed to stay up on all fours so that I won't crush my little partner below me. And that day, Watari just happened to be conveniently passing by. So naturally, the whole division found out about the incident.

"I recall that last time I did, you caught me." Wink. See my partner's cheeks turn red.

 "You two are so cute together." Okay, make that _very_ red. It's amazing how such an innocent comment from Ayase can make all the blood in my partner gather to his face.

"I always watched my father whenever we went for a cruise, so when he decided to teach me I was very eager to learn. This is probably one of the most precious things I'll remember him by." Ayase's smile is just trying to mask the obvious tone of longing in his voice.

He positions in front of the steering wheel and looks down at a picture of three people. I can't see. Move forward a bit to take a closer look. There's a man carrying a five-year-old Ayase who's wearing a sailor's costume. He must be the father- a tall man who looks like Tatsumi with his stunning blue eyes and dark hair. But I doubt I'll ever see _EnmaCho's_ secretary with a boyish smile like that. And to their right is… his mom. She has long and wavy silvery blond hair and green eyes. She has such a fair face that looks even more captivating with her timid smile.

"Let's go!" Ayase beams. He may have inherited his mother's looks, but I think he has his father's eyes and bright, carefree smile.

**)-0-(**

It's been a long time since we've been out to the sea, and back then we were on a case. Besides, it wasn't exactly what I'd call a pleasant cruise. Anything but. Especially for my partner…

            I'm just glad that this time, we're back to relax and enjoy ourselves. Hopefully. Hisoka sure looks like he's enjoying himself anyway. He's been out there in the porch overlooking the see since the yacht started to gather speed, before it finally glided over the calm water steadily. The way he's leaning on the railings looking so lost in thought makes me want to run out there and hold him tight.

            "Tsuzuki-san"

            "Yes?"

            "Um… the trip's kind of long. Why don't you and Hisoka-san have something to eat? I prepared some sandwiches earlier."

Food! Oh Ayase, you're an angel!

"Great! I'll call him in." And maybe I'll proceed with that 'hold him tight' plan of mine.

             As the yacht steadily cruises on the surface, the wind rushing to my face makes me feel drowsy. Hisoka's eyes are narrowed to shield it from the cold autumn breeze. His blond strands blown back by the wind are almost touching my nose and I can't help but sniff it. I guess Hisoka's scent just intoxicates me.

            Maybe it won't hurt if I try to get a bit closer. Just to smell him better and…

            "Tsuzu-- Ow!"

            "Why did you turn all of a sudden!?" My poor nose.

He's rubbing his nose too. Must've really hurt. 

            "Well, excuse me! I was just about to ask if you wanted something to eat because I wanted to get a glass of water." How sweet… My Hisoka's always thinking about me.

"But I just changed my mind."

            Fine.

            "Just what were you trying to do huh…?" Hisoka looks at me, slitting his eyes.

            "No- nothing! I wasn't trying to steal a kiss or something!" Okay, that was _just_ a slip of the tongue. I swear!

            Hisoka's speechless, but his face is very red and that alone is worth a thousand words. He's avoiding my eyes again. He turns away and looks out to the sea as though it was the first time he had seen one and it happened to be the most interesting sight in the world.

            Right, I almost forgot. "Um… Ayase said we might as well have some snacks first since it'll take a while before we get there."

            Without another word, he walks back in.

**)-0-(**

Ayase temporarily stopped the yacht for a short break. He was a bit worried that the engine felt hotter than usual, but he dismissed it, saying it was probably because he forgot to do the regular maintenance required for quite a while now. "Maybe it just needs a bit of time to cool off."

We ate in silence, mostly because even though it has subsided considerably, there were still hints of red on Hisoka's pastel cheeks, and partly because he just decided to ignore me for the rest of the trip. Silent treatment part two huh? So be it. It's not so hard to ignore him. "Hmph!"

And so I did.

That is, until now when something rests on my shoulder. "Eh?"

Hisoka had fallen asleep. Not surprising since he slept late last night. He didn't go to bed until past midnight- when he finished reading all those documents Tatsumi sent for us. Oh, that's right… Ayase doesn't know about it yet. But I think now's not an appropriate time. I'll just tell him about it after this trip.

            "So Ayase, why did you decide to take us out?" I've been wondering and I think now's the perfect chance to ask.

            Ayase just smiles at me. A smile so like his father's. Speaking of smiles, I wonder how Hisoka would look like if he did.

            "You saved my life. Twice. So I wanted to show my gratitude. At first I wanted to give you a gift, but since you're… um, you know… not exactly alive anymore, what good will ephemeral things do? Then I thought I should give you something you could bring with you when you go back. A memory." He looks at my partner then smiles brighter. "I bet you two will love it. It's something you can keep forever- in your hearts."

            "Sounds nice." Nod at him. "Now I'm looking forward to it even more."

**)-0-(**

            I think I dozed off too, because the next thing I know, we're moving again.

And Hisoka's not beside me anymore. "Hisoka?"

"He's outside." Ayase tells me while keeping his eyes on the sea.

Stretch and yawn. Ahh… it always feels nice doing that after a short nap. "Are we there yet?" I walk over to him.

"Look." He points to a hazy mass of green ahead of us. "That's the islet already. We'll be there in no time."

"Ooohhh…" So that's where we're headed for.

Better let Hisoka know.

"Hisoka! Look!!!" Great, I sound like an excited little kid rushing to meet my mother after a tiring day at school. "We're almost there! I can't wait!"

"You're acting like a-- AH!" Hisoka falls into my arms and instinctively holds on to my shoulders when a loud bang erupts from inside, shaking the yacht and making him lose his balance.

What the hell just happened…?

"Ayase!!!" Hisoka breaks into a dash and hastily opens the sliding doors. He coughs violently when a black smoke wafts from inside. Without bothering to stop to even his breathing, he steps in and calls out to Ayase.

"_Kuso…_"

Why is it that when I look forward to something good it always turns out to be a disaster?

"Hisoka! Ayase!"

Thank goodness. There they are. Hisoka's holding Ayase's right arm over his shoulder to steady the latter, as they walk away from the blazing engine.

"We… we have to get… out of here…" Ayase struggles to speak between coughs.

"Tsuzuki, the explosion caused fuel leaks. We must leave before the entire yacht blows up." Hisoka explains for Ayase's sake. "We'll have to swim to the shore."

"But you can't swim!" Okay, my tone was harsher than intended but…

"I'll manage…" He argues, voice slightly shuddering with hesitation.

"But Hisoka-"

"Tsuzuki!" He retorts, eyes now fully determined. Darn it, he won't even give me the chance to argue! "We need to go or Ayase might die here!"

And that makes my full attention turn to Ayase.

"Well… all right."

I guess we have no choice.

We ran for the porch and closed the sliding doors to reduce the smoke coming out from the yacht's burning interior, before it suffocates us to death. I let Ayase go first after he assures me for the tenth time that he knows how to swim. What, I had to make sure!

And now there are only Hisoka and me left.

"Now remember, take a deep breath and inhale as much air as you can. When you're under water, use your mouth to breathe and do it very, very slowly. Don't exhale too much air all at once or else you'll have no reserves until we resurface and gasp for breath. Okay?" I know I'm babbling these instructions all in a panicked rush, but we don't have time.

He seems to have understood though, because he's nodding. Good.

"And one more thing." Take his hand and hold it tight. "Don't ever let go." A smile forms at my lips when I feel a soft answering pressure.

"At the count of three then."

We'll make it…

"One"

We have to...

"Two"

Because after that, I… 

"Three!!!" And we jump into the water, feeling the chill rush into and spread all throughout my body.

I don't know for how long I've been kicking and paddling now, or if we're even going at the right direction. All I know is that I have to swim, swim, swim! For both our sakes.

Damn it… I think we dived in a little too much. Now I'm finding it hard to swim back up. And even though Hisoka's really light, I can't deny that I'm still supporting the weight of two people and that doesn't make the task at hand any easier.

Have to resurface…

Need air…

I can't let my partner down…

What's this…?

I could vaguely feel hands tugging at my shirt.

And those hands pull me closer…

Hisoka's face appears in front of me then he draws my head to him and captures my lips…

And _breathes._

Then his hold on me loosens as I feel his body go limp.

**)-0-(**

**tbc?**

=w= erm… sorry for the late update. But I won't abandon this fic. I swear! ;;


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 

I remember being surrounded with flames. Flames so intense that I knew I'd be burned for sure. I'd die for sure. After all, if exposed to Touda's flames that have the power to burn everything… _anything_… even a shinigami's regenerative prowess is useless. I was ready to die back then. Ready to give up everything. Everyone. There was nothing left for me. There was no other way I could ever atone for everything I've done. And for everyone I've killed.

But he came.

He opened a new path for me.

Even through the loud crashing of pillars and falling of debris, amidst the loud crackling of flames on wood, I clearly heard his voice. And even though my vision was slowly being clouded with darkness that I've longed for- and finally welcomed- from the deepest parts of my mind an image of his face resurfaced. Clear. Glowing. Beautiful.

He kept calling my name.

I heard him.

He tried to come to me.

I told him to turn back.

He wouldn't listen.

I told him I've had enough. That I was so tired of this life and all I wanted was to rest…

I wanted him… to let me go…

He didn't.

He never did.

He never will.

**I won't let go of your hand a second time…**

Hisoka wanted to be with me. To go with me wherever I was going. If I wanted to live, he'd stay by my side. If I wanted to die… He'd… He was willing to give up that much. Just to be with me. Always.

The promise of being together, I held on to that. Knowing that I would have someone by my side no matter what happens, and for the rest of my wretched existence, the prospect of being a shinigami seemed more bearable. As long as there was someone who shared my tears. Someone who gave me a reason to smile. And knowing that for the rest of my eternity, he'd be there. Just like he always was.

And forever will no longer be just mine…

Ours.

_Our forever. _

**)-0-(**

"That's right… we promised to be together, didn't we?" Because together… we'll defeat 'that man'… "But if you keep risking your life like this…"

_One._

_Two._

_Three._

_Blow…_

"Dammit, Hisoka! You know you're the only reason why I'm still here!"

_One._

_Two._

_Three._

Blow… 

"So, please breathe… Breathe for me…" His hands are so cold.

_One._

_Two._

_Three._

_Blow..._

**"I don't want to be alone anymore!"**

When he reached out to me, held me and told me those things, he felt so warm.

But now…

"You, more than anyone else, should know how I would feel if something ever happened to you."

Is this fate's way of punishing me for my sins…?

Giving me someone to love… and yet letting me live in constant fear of losing him…

Because he's too kind!?

_One._

_Two._

_Three._

_Blow…_

"Damn it Hisoka… Why'd you have to go this far!?"

I can't believe this. He did it again! __

"Why…?" Why does he always have to risk everything just for me…?

Right, and he keeps calling me an idiot all the time. I swear, the moment he wakes up I'll scream right at his face the thousand kinds of idiot that he is. Why…?

He's coughing now… Thank goodness.

"N… nn…"

Hisoka?

"Hisoka!" He's coming to.

His eyes… I've never known how much I missed his eyes until now that I'm finally seeing them again. Those eyes that captivated me ever since the first moment I've seen him.

"Tsu…"

"Shhh…" Place a finger over his lips. They're really soft. So delicate.

Put my arms around him and hold him close. Hold him really tight.

"Tsuzuki…?"

"Just let me stay like this for a while…"

Let me hold you.

Feel you.

Until it sinks into my mind that I didn't lose you…

Though I almost did. Again.

"You're trembling…" He softly sighs as he puts his arms around me and leans closer.

"It's nothing." Pull back and touch his face. Looking into his eyes like this… It's proof enough, isn't it? He's alive. And that's all that matters right now. "Just don't scare me like that again."

"Tsuzuki-san! Hisoka-san!" That's Ayase's voice. I guess we all reached the shore then. That's good. "Are you two all right?"

"Yes, we're okay. Hisoka's still a bit dazed, but he'll be fine."

"Thank goodness…" He sighs in relief and kneels beside Hisoka.

"Don't worry, I'm fine." Hisoka tells him with a ghost of a smile.

And it's the first time I become aware of our surroundings. The white sand, the rhythm of the waves crashing against the shore, the gentle breeze… I'm surprised I haven't noticed the breathtaking sunset up until now.

Maybe because at that moment, there was nothing in the world but the two of us… Nothing else mattered.

**)-0-(**

"Thank you so much! It was so nice of you to give us a lift. Um… would you like to stay over for dinner? It's the least we can do" Ayase bows.

"Oh no, no, please, Ayase-sama. You and your friends must be tired, so I'll leave you on your own for now. Please rest well."

Kudou-san, a kind villager who drove us to Ayase's house, takes off his hat and bows. It's a medium size beach hut, quite a surprising contrast to the huge mansion his family owns back at the city.

"Please don't be too formal." Ayase's blushing.

"Ah, your father used to say the same thing…" The kind man grins blissfully, probably reminiscing old times.

"Yes…" Ayase smiles… but his eyes are anything but happy.

"Ah! Please do forgive me. That was terribly insensitive." He bows apologetically. "I'd better get going."

After closing the door, Ayase pulls a chair and sits beside me.

"How is he?" He looks at Hisoka, fast asleep on my back. Right, better put him down on the sofa.

"Hasn't woken up yet since we came here." He fell asleep on the way here. Must be terribly exhausted.

"Hisoka-san…?"

Hm?

Hisoka…

"Ah! Hisoka-san! How are you feeling now?"

His eyes flutter open, then he looks around him. After a moment, he meets Ayase's curious eyes.

Then he looks at me.

Hisoka…

"You idiot…" I think this time it's my turn to call him that. I have every right to after what happened. "Hisoka, being a _shinigami_ doesn't mean you won't **drown**!"

I just yelled at him. What am I doing? All I want is to hug him. Tell him how happy I am that he's okay…

"And I give the exact same words back to you." He retorts.

"You'd think some like you- What?" What did he just say?

"Honestly, you were too busy fussing over me and the fact that I can't swim you forgot to breathe properly before we dived in! And you were the one who told me about getting enough air before going. Idiot."

I did?

"What's with that look? What, you think I wouldn't notice something like that?" He raises an eyebrow at me. Darn it.

"Still-"

"Tsuzuki! We're all alive and that's what matters. End of discussion."

Drat. Why do I have the feeling that I never get to win any argument with him?

"Hisoka… Just…. Just don't be that reckless again okay?" I nearly lost him. Again. How many times has it been that he came so close to his second death all because of me. He does so much for me. _Too_ much. "I'll never forgive myself if something happened to you. Especially if that's because you were trying to put your life in the line just to save my unworthy ass."

"Tsuzuki…"

"Think about me for once, Hisoka. What will I be without you? You're… the only one I cling to now."

The very string that I hold on to just so I can keep my sanity...

"Sorry…" He mutters softly.

"Idiot" Ruffle his hair. "I don't want your apology. Just… be careful next time okay?"

And he automatically scowls.

**_Don't pat me am I a dog!?_**

Yes… Back when we were aboard Queen Camellia, Hisoka got mad when I patted him. I guess even until now he still instinctively remembers that doesn't like these affectionate touches. He doesn't like feeling like a child. Silly Hisoka.

"Whatever" he rolls his eyes at me. So cute.

"I'm kinda hungry… Ayase, want to have dinner ou-"

"Shh!" Hisoka puts his index finger on his lips.

What?

Oh… Looks like Ayase dozed off.

"He must be really tired too. Tsuzuki, lay him down here. He'll get cramps if we let him sleep there."

He's right. At least the sofa's more comfortable than that wooden chair.

"Right." He looks so peaceful asleep. Must be having a nice dream. Here goes. Heave Ho! "Wow… He's heavier than he looks."

"I'll tell Ayase when he wakes up."

"Please don't!"

Such a meanie.

**)-0-(**

Our first day went relatively well. We started the day with cleaning the house, Hisoka and I cleaned the rooms while Ayase cooked breakfast. But halfway I had to let Hisoka rest because he wouldn't stop sneezing with all the dust. Although… I had to admit listening to him try to talk and insist to continue helping between sneezing was quite amusing. 

After that we decided to spend the rest of the day at home to rest. And right now we're playing poker. With Hisoka just plainly winning every round.

"Hm…" Ayase furrows his brows, glaring at the cards in his hand. "Aha! Here." 

He slams the cards on the table. "I win." He grins from ear to ear.

"Sorry." Hisoka sighs and lays his cards on the table. "But I win." He playfully smirks. Yet again, it's a winning set. This time it's a Royal Straight Flush. Yes… I remember that. That was the combination that saved me from that perverted psycho back then. Hisoka's becoming pretty good at this game.

"Not fair…" Ayase whines then his head drops. "Another round?"

"Looks like Ayase won't stop until he wins huh?" A soft chuckle escapes my lips.

"What do you mean!?" He pouts. "Of course I'll win!" He sticks his tongue out at me.

"Hai hai." Ruffle his hair.

Did I hear someone knock just now?

"I'll get it." Hisoka gets up and peeps through the pinhole. He turns to us first and mouths 'police' before opening the door.

Why would the police be here?

Hisoka nods to them before turning to us. "They want to talk to Ayase."

"Huh?" Ayase eyes them curiously before he turns to me, then to Hisoka then nods "Okay." He walks out of the room and proceeds to talk to them in private.

"What did they want?" Curiosity always gets the better of me.

"They… have the reports about the yacht." Hisoka starts hesitantly. "But they didn't tell me anything, because they wanted to talk to the owner first and ask for his consent before they inform anyone else of what happened."

"Then that means the findings must be sensitive." Otherwise they would've told us about it too.

"Un." Hisoka nods.

The door opens and in comes Ayase, keeping his eyes on the floor, looking a bit… distraught?

"Ayase?" My voice breaks the uneasy silence that engulfed us the second he came in, making the person whose name I called startle.

"Oh sorry… I… Did I space out?" He smiles timidly.

"What did the reports say?" I hope he doesn't mind me asking.

"Um…" He fidgets with the hem of his gray hooded shirt. "They said… What happened in the yacht wasn't an accident." He slowly staggers to the couch then flops onto the spot where Hisoka sat earlier while they played poker. "There… There were traces of foul play."

**)-0-(**

**tbc? **

Um… terribly sorry for the late update -.-;; Busy at school, as usual. (And was busy procrastinating, as usual) And I'm stuck. I really don't know what to write next. T.T

note: in the manga, Hisoka didn't tell Tsuzuki to live just for him. His thoughts were something like _'My special place… is right here. With you only… So, wherever you go, I'll go with you… To that world where you are going…'_ Clearly, to live or die, whatever Tsuzuki wanted, he was going to be with him. Live with him? Die with him? It didn't matter to Hisoka, as long as he was with Tsuzuki. Just one of the many reasons I love the manga more than the anime… ;-p


	13. Chapter 12

A/N: Erm... no, this fic isn't dead yet. It's just, the author got stuck in the middle of writing a fic she had no plot to work with from the beginning. (sweatdrops) Anyway, I don't want to keep you guys for long, so, enjoy!

The story so far: _Just when Tsuzuki and Hisoka thought they could finally relax (after having been given a hard earned vacation), a chance encounter with Ayase throws them into another case. Apparently, someone is out to get him but the Shinigami's have yet to figure out who. To show his gratitude for helping him (and perhaps to apologize for sabbotaging their vacation), Ayase invites the duo to come with him to his family's vacation house on an island. And so, they go on board Ayase's family yacht, but on the way the yacht explodes...?_

* * *

**Chapter 12**

Ta. Ko. Ya. Ki! Ta. Ko. Ya. Ki! Takoyaki!

It's festival night again! And the first thing I'll look for when we get there will definitely be the _takoyaki_ stall. And then I'll have _okonomiyaki_, and _watame_, and candy-coated fruits and… (1) Well, these are things I can usually get on regular days too. But they just taste a lot better during festivals. (And besides, it's very rare to have this much money, so…) Ah! I haven't tried the fish catching game in a while… Right, maybe I'll drag Hisoka and Ayase to try it out too.

Speaking of those two… I wonder, what's taking them so long?

As if on cue, the door to Ayase's room opens to answer my question. Ayase steps out first, grinning form ear to ear.

"So…" He turns around, making his _yukata_ sway. The pastel blue color brings out the color of his eyes. The patterns of white lily on the hem and sleeves make for a nice complement. "How do I look?"

"You look so cute, Aya-chan. The _yukata_ perfectly suits you." Smile at him.

"Why thank you." He beams back then he bows, giggling. "Oh! Wait 'til you see him." And he runs back to his room.

Ayase… When he heard the police reports about the explosion of his yacht, he was devastated to say the least. That yacht was a very precious memento of his late parents, especially of his father who taught him how to maneuver it. Worse than that, the traces of foul play found on the investigation were pretty much a clear indication that the killers are still after him. We still have no idea who they are, and why they want to kill him.

Ayase may or may not know the answer. He still refuses to speak. But we don't want to force anything out of him either. It hasn't been long since his mother was killed so it would be just plain heartless to make him relive those awful memories when his emotional wounds haven't even healed yet.

"Come on, don't be shy." Ayase's voice snaps me out of my thoughts. "You look so pretty! Doesn't he, Tsuzuki-san?"

Upon hearing my name, I turn towards Ayase who's holding on to Hisoka's hand as he pulls my very reluctant, red faced partner into the living room.

I can see what's making him feel embarrassed. But I don't understand why he should be. I can't even think properly anymore because the moment my eyes fall on him, I feel like my brain completely stopped working.

From his averted eyes, my gaze travels down to his porcelain cheeks tinted with a very delicate shade of red. The color of his face somewhat matches that of the sakura petals intricately printed in the pure white yukata he's wearing tonight.

The words get jumbled on my head and I couldn't think of what to say to describe just how I feel as I'm looking at him right now.

"Let's go."

Hisoka's quiet voice takes me out of my daze and the next thing I know, we're already out of the house and on our way to where the festival will be held.

)-0-(

Just as I expected. Since it's a small island, the festival isn't that grand. There are only two rows of booths lined up on each side of the street, leading all the way to the foot of the stairs that, in turn, lead to the temple. Hanging lamps illuminate the entire place.

"Here you go." Ayase gives Hisoka a stick with thick, fluffy cotton candy. "And for you too, Tsuzuki-san." Then he hands another one to me, before nibbling on his own.

"Watame!" Ahhh… I haven't had this for a long time. "Thanks, Aya-chan."

He replies with a grin.

Then I glance over to Hisoka, who's eyeing the sweet curiously, before taking a little bite. As soon as his lips touches the pink ball of sweet fluff, he flinches.

"It's too sweet…"

Just as I thought. He really has a weakness for strong flavors.

"It's all right." I smile at him. "If you can't eat all of it, I'll finish the rest for you."

Hisoka looks at me skeptically. "Sure. More for you, huh?"

"Tsuzuki-san is such a bottomless pit." Ayase chuckles.

"You didn't have to say it that way, Aya-chan." Pout at him.

"He's right though." Hisoka casually remarks, before taking another small bite.

"Hey! Two against one! Isn't this kind of overkill?" They're ganging up on me! So not fair!

)-0-(

This is not fair. No, it's just plain doesn't make sense! " This is the thirtieth time I've tried to get this fish but everytime it comes so close to getting caught this friggin' thing breaks!"

This game is pretty common during festivals. They set up a little tub with live fish in it, and you have to catch it with this loop covered with a paper... thing. This unbelievably _frail_ thing that's easily broken by a fish the size of my little finger.

If this one breaks _again_, I'll... "Argh!"

"Tsuzuki-san... give it up!" And of course, Ayase bending over laughing every time I fail isn't helping.

"He's right. Besides, it's not like you'll be able to cook that fish anyway." And neither is Hisoka with his helpful advice.

Some moral support they are.

"Hey! Who said anything about eating? I'm going to keep them as pets. Aren't they cute?"

Ayase just laughs louder. Really, for someone who has such a petite form, his voice is surprisingly big.

"I... I can't take this anymore. Excuse me, I'm going to the washroom." And he runs off.

"Hmph! Fine, have it your way!" I yell after him, and finishes it off with a pout. "Yosh! Mister! One more time please!" I fish for my wallet to get some coins for another round... Oh. Shit.

"Tsuzuki?" Hisoka looks at me inquisitively.

"Uh... Um..." How am I supposed to tell him I spent all of my money?

Hisoka slits his eyes at me. "You didn't..."

Woops. Looks like I don't have to. My partner knows me too well.

I look down and keep my eyes on the floor. Really, what else can I do?

Hisoka sighs. And from the sound of his footsteps and the shuffling of his _yukata_, I can tell that he's already walking off. He probably gave up on me already. Not surprising. I'm hopeless after all. I can't even catch one flimsy little fish. I would've wanted to put it in a clear bowl and display it in his room. It'd look so nice there, especially because his place is so bare.

"Here." Hisoka's voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

Eh?

EH? Wha...? How...?

It's a fish! In a clear plastic bag! Which means... "You caught it!"

"It's kind of tricky. It's a lot harder than it looks, especially since you were the one we were watching doing it."

Hey! What does that mean? "Did you just imply that I am an idiot?"

"Yes." Okay. Bad question. See my head fall. "But if you just calmed down a little and didn't rush it, you would've caught the fish."

"Eh?" Blink at him. Please enlighten me.

"What I'm saying is, you should've tried to catch the fish swiftly and _gently_."

"Oh..." Raise the plastic to eye level and examine the fish. Oh, looks like Hisoka caught two of them too. One is a flaming orange, with silver fins. And the other one if a cool shade of bluish green. "Thanks, Hisoka."

Really, my partner can be so sweet sometimes.

"It's almost time for the fireworks." He takes my hand. "Let's go look for Ayase."

Scratch that. He's always sweet.

)-0-(

"If I remember correctly, the temple is this way." I pull my partner to the right.

"No." Hisoka easily refutes. "It's this way." He pulls me to the left.

"Tsuzuki-san! Hisoka-san!" Ayase beckons us. As usual, with that bright smile on his face. Even though he looks like he's having a hard time squeezing through the crowd.

Ayase holds on to his knees, panting. "The... temple's that way." He points to where most of the crowd is headed. And it's to our left.

"Tsuzuki."

Erk. Here it comes.

"Your sense of direction is just as impressive as your skills in handling money."

Like I said, my partner knows me too well.

Ayase chuckles. "Anyway, the temple's a good place to view the fireworks."

"Then, what are we waiting for?" Grin back at him. "Let's go!" As I start to head for the temple, I feel someone's hand grab my trench coat from behind.

"Wait." Oh, it's Ayase. "I know a better spot."

With Ayase leading the way, he continues to explain as we walk out of the venue and further to the outskirts of the village, across the sprawling grounds.

"There's a hilltop where my parents used to take me. You see, the temple's pretty small, so it's easily packed even though there aren't that many people. So, one time, my dad brought us here. It's a great spot to view the fireworks from. And the best thing is, we're the only ones who know about this place."

After walking a little more, a large tree comes into view. A tree we're all too familiar with. "You see that Sakura over there? That's the ver center of this hilltop. That's where we'll be watching the fireworks."

"It's beautiful..." Hisoka stares at the tree, his eyes gleaming. Following his gaze, I look at the Sakura, it's delicate pink petals softly swaying with the wind before it falls to the ground. The moon's silver rays are engulfing its sturdy body that had stood through years and witnessed the passing of seasons, making it seem like it's glowing with a light of its own.

"Come on." Ayase walks forward.

"Right." I tail after him, but after a few steps, I suddenly get the feeling that something is amiss. When I instinctively look back, Hisoka isn't following behind me. He's walking off- no, more like running off- to somewhere else.

"Hisoka?" I yell after him.

Wait... Sakura on a hilltop... At a night of the full moon...

Crap! How could I have been so insensitive? Even if the moon isn't red tonight, still, the scenery is pretty much the same as that time!

"Tsuzuki-san?" Ayase yells from under the tree. "What's wrong?" And as if he had just noticed, Ayase's eyes widen. "Where's Hisoka-san?"

"Ayase! Stay here, okay? I'll be right back." And I dash off to where I last saw my partner was headed to. If something happens to him...

The moment I catch up with Hisoka, I feel my hold on the fish, the precious fish given to me by my partner, loosen. It soundlessly falls to the ground, or maybe I just didn't hear the sound it made, if any, because my full attention is on the two of them. To Hisoka and the man he's talking to.

Why is Hisoka looking up at him with such gentle eyes?

Why is he talking to him with a smile on his face?

As if feeling my presence, the two of them turn to me. The very second Hisoka looks away from him, the other person looks at me, his silver gaze boring into my soul, then he smirks, making a shiver run down my spine.

And he turns and walks away. Just like that?

"Wait!" That bastard. Even if I yelled at the top of my lungs, he's acting like he didn't hear me. "I said wait!" I practically roar. But he still doesn't turn back.

The mere sight of him makes my blood boil. And just when I feel like I'm about to blow up, I feel Hisoka's small hands grab my arm.

"Tsuzuki, what's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with _me_? Isn't that _my_ line? What the hell were you thinking running off like that?"

Hisoka looks at me incredulously. "Tsuzuki, I just wanted to thank him. I forgot to do so the other day. He's the one I told you about, the kind man who paid for the groceries." Then he crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow. "You know, when you ditched me."

"This isn't the time to talk about that!"

Hisoka flinches. I've never yelled at him before, and I know he's just teasing me but... Damn it.

... Wait. What 'kind man'? Did Hisoka just call that monster '_kind_'? Mentally kick myself. Of all things, I just had to forget that my boyfriend is an amnesiac.

"Tsuzuki..." He walks closer to me and holds my hands, looking at me with eyes filled with concern. "What's wrong...? Do you know that person?"

Sigh.

"Don't you feel anything when you see that person?" Squeeze his hands. "Don't you feel anything around him?"

Hisoka looks at me with a blank expression, eyes clear and telling. "No. Why? How is that person related to me?"

He's the reason you became a shinigami...

He looks at me, his eyes searching. And then his eyes widen slightly. Is he starting to remember?

"Ah, could it be because of what happened in the infirmary? When I accidentally looked into Ayase's memories, I told you that the man I saw had silver eyes. Are you suspecting him?"

Shake my head. How am I supposed to tell him? Where should I start? Maybe it isn't the right time yet.

"Promise me, Hisoka." Touch his cheek. "Promise me you'll stay away from that man!"

"I don't understand..." He puts his hand over mine, pressing my palm on his cheek. "But, okay, I will. I trust you." He smiles lightly.

"Thank you." I pull him into my arms and hug him so tight.

As soon as I do so, a series of loud bangs coming from the sky shatters the silence of the night. When we look up at the darkened sky, its thick black carpet that was littered only by the twinkling stars is now lit up by the colorful fireworks. As a child, I used to think that fireworks were so beautiful to look at, but you could never hold it in your hand, lest you get burned.(2) From then on, I've always thought that beautiful things were always out of reach, especially for someone like me who was undeserving.

All of that changed when I met Hisoka.

He's beautiful.

And I have him right here in my arms.

* * *

(1) _Takoyaki_- octopus balls; _Okonomiyaki_- a mixture between pancake and pizza. _"Okonomi"_ means "as you like". This refers to the ingredients. See japan(dash)guide(dot)com; _Watame_- cotton candy 

(2) I got the idea from what Kei (the protagonist) said when he described love. It's from a manga called _"Boku wa Kimi no Tori ni Naritai"_ by Homerun Ken.


	14. Chapter 13

Ahahahaha! See? It didn't take me another two years to update! I'm so proud of myself. :is shot:

i was really surprised to see that even after two years, there were still people waiting for me to update. i don't deserve your patience at all, but thank you for tolerating my slowness. :bows: i'll continue to work on this fic for you. and i hope that i don't disappoint you in the process :D (well, at least not any more than I already have)

Anyway, today I bring to you the next chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 13**

This morning, I woke up to the aroma of scrambled eggs and toast wafting from the kitchen all the way to the guest room. Needless to say, when I looked at the bed beside mine it was already empty. Ahh… Bliss. What could be better than eating my wife's cooking first thing in the morning. That is, of course, something I will never dare say out loud lest I want to nurse a broken heart. And a dozen broken ribs.

Sit up and stretch. Must open the curtains and greet the morning sunshine. The moment I unlock and open the glass windows, the morning breeze rushes to my cheeks. Breathe in. Breathe out. The wind carries with it the scent of hibiscus roses. Which reminds me, I should pick some later and arrange them on Hisoka's bedside table.

Right. I should go down now and help my wi… err, _partner_ with the cooking.

"Ah! Good Morning, Tsuzuki-san!" Ayase beams as soon as he sees the door open before he gets back to setting the table, humming the tune of a familiar folk song. He's wearing a pink, fluffy apron which I'm guessing might've been his mother's… Wait! So does that mean that my partner is also…!

Ah… the sight of Hisoka in a frilly apron…

"So you finally woke up, eh?" Hisoka's quiet voice resounds from behind the kitchen counter before his delicate figure appears.

It feels like time has slowed down as I turn towards my partner. He's wearing… He's wearing…!

A long-sleeved white apron? And a hair net. A hair net!

Oi oi… This is what _obaasans_ wear!

"Hi… Hisoka…"

"What?" He blinks innocently.

"Nothing…" Ahah. I give up. How does he manage to look cute even when he's wearing something like this?

"Anyway…" He continues, albeit still eyeing at me suspiciously. "… Breakfast is almost ready. Have a seat."

"Hai!"

---

It was only after breakfast when I came into a painful realization that nothing is free in this world. I was glad that I didn't have to help them cook. Only to find out that I'd be tasked to wipe the table, wash the dishes and clean the sink after breakfast. How troublesome.

_"Achoo!"_

Another sneeze echoes throughout the house. The tenth in the last five minutes.

And, like its predecessors, it was followed by Ayase's giggling fit.

"See? That's why I told you it's okay! You don't have to help me clean up anymore." Ayase walks towards Hisoka and reaches for the broom. My partner stubbornly keeps it out of his reach.

"And I told you i… it's…" Another sneeze. "It's okay…" Hisoka sniffs.

"But the dust is giving you a hard time." Ayase, equally stubborn, reaches for the broom again. "Besides, you already cooked breakfast. Cleaning up is my turn now." He pouts.

"But…"

Before their silly argument continues any further, it's stopped by the sound of the doorbell. Hisoka heaves a sigh then strolls towards the door.

He peers through the pinhole. His eyes widen momentarily before he wordlessly unlocks the door.

I was just about to ask him who it was, before a blur of yellow and brown rushes in and latches itself onto my partner.

"Bon! Long time no see!" The blur, who happens to be Watari in a simple brown overcoat, cuddles my partner enthusiastically. "How are you feeling? Are you all right? Are you eating properly? Is Tsuzuki taking care of you?" He babbles breathlessly.

"Wa… Watari-san… Need air…" My partner tries to gasp out as his face starts to sport a dangerous shade of blue.

"Oops. Sorry." Watari finally lets go, grinning sheepishly, before turning his attention to Ayase. "Oh, hi there Ayase-kun! I'm sorry for suddenly barging in."

"N… Not at all…" Ayase chuckles anxiously.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as I wipe the last plate and place it back on the cupboard.

"Oh, Tsuzuki. Didn't notice you were there." Watari blinks at me.

Forgot about me, huh. That is just too mean.

"Anyway…" I reiterate, feeling my eyebrows start to twitch. "What did you come here for?"

"Oh, that's right. Nothing. I just came to check on Bon. Would you two mind excusing us for a bit?" Watari beams.

A cold chill runs down my spin. "Watari, is there…"

"Hm? Ah! No, no!" He starts waving his arms defensively. "It's nothing serious. It's just a routine check-up. Is all."

"Really?" I look at him skeptically, searching his eyes.

"Really." He reassures. "There's nothing to worry about, all right? Now then, if you'll excuse us."

He grabs Hisoka's arm then turns to Ayase. "Ayase-kun, is it all right if I examine him in his room for a moment?"

"Mm." Ayase nods.

"Great!" Watari flashes his thousand-megawatt smile.

---

Watari said that he came over only for Hisoka's check-up. Apparently, he conveniently forgot to mention that he intended to stay for the rest of the day, and that he was planning to stay overnight.

"Can't I?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because!"

"Oh, come on, don't be stingy, it's just one night!"

"No is no, Watari." I close my eyes, my voice stern and clearly putting an end to the argument.

"Che…" Watari pouts. "Fine, I'll just sleep on the sofa. All alone in the living room. Looking nervously around in the dark, with no one there to make me feel secure…"He mumbles a little too loudly.

Looking thoroughly dejected, he stomps out of the room and slams the door shut.

The whole discussion began when he suggested sharing Hisoka's bed, since the guest room had two separate beds that we were occupying anyway. Hisoka had no objections but I had a different say in it. There's no way I'm letting anyone else sleep beside my Hisoka. Just no way in hell! And that includes Watari. Scratch that. _Especially_ Watari. Not with his touchy-feely attitude. After all, I know full well how cute and irresistible my partner is.

One glance at Hisoka's direction tells me that he's already fast asleep. I walk towards him and give him a light kiss on the forehead, whispering "Good night". Then I walk back to my own bed and switch the lampshade off.

I don't think I've been asleep for too long when the sound of the door creaking alerts my senses. The footsteps that soon follow jolt me to become fully awake.

This had better not be Watari sneaking into my partner's bed.

Turning the lampshade on confirms my suspicion.

"Watari, you…"

"Shh." He presses his index finger to his lips. The expression on his face isn't as playful as it was before I went to sleep. He looks grave. His eyes are focused on Hisoka as he walks towards my partner and sits at the edge of his bed. He then starts caressing Hisoka's locks, as if lulling him to sleep, his golden eyes softening. Watari's unusually stern face slowly relaxes, but he doesn't smile. Instead, it looks more like he's sad and a little troubled.

"It's all right, Bon…"

The mention of his affectionate nickname towards my partner instantly shifts my attention to the aforementioned boy. My breath gets caught in my throat as I register tears silently falling from his eyes and quiet moans escaping his lips.

"Just as I thought…" Watari voices out pensively, his voice soft enough so as to not wake Hisoka.

I sit up, eyes still glued on my partner. "Watari, what's going on?"

"I didn't like what you told me about Bon's encounter with that… man." Watari frowns as he spats the word out. That in itself is a bad sign. "Tsuzuki… When someone suffers from amnesia, especially like in the case of Bon, the mind unconsciously wills to forget the worst memories. However, our memories are attached to our soul, so they can never be erased. At best, it could only be pushed back to the deepest part of his mind."

"What are you saying…" I find myself interjecting in the middle of his explanation.

"The memories his conscious mind does not remember have been shoved deep into his subconscious mind. That's where Bon is right now. Trapped in those memories one would normally call nightmares." He explains further as he continues to run his fingers through Hisoka's hair.

"Hisoka…"

Watari heaves a deep sigh. "This is the only thing I can do for you, Bon."

A gentle green glow emanates from his palm as he gently lays his hand over my partner's forehead. Within a few seconds, Hisoka's features start to relax, his tears stop falling, and his sobbing softens until he is breathing evenly once again.

"Tsuzuki." He turns to me. "I can't be by his side all the time to do this for him. But I can teach you how." He grins brightly.

"Please, Watari." I smile back at him.

---

"Tsuzuki-san, I don't think this is a good idea." Ayase bites his lower lip.

"Why not? It wasn't fair in the first place for him to just snatch my partner away like that!" I huff indignantly. "If they're going out on a date, then so will we!"

Apparently I had overslept again. But this time, I had a valid reason. I stayed up all night trying to master the sleep inducement spell Watari taught me. It was such a simple spell, but it took me overnight. I'm just glad my partner was asleep, otherwise, I would've made a fool of myself in front of him again. I mean, Hisoka's a genius. A puny spell like that would only take him five minutes to completely memorize by heart. I started to think maybe I was hopeless after all.

That pessimism died once I got out of the room. I was really thrilled that I could enjoy eating my partner's delicious cooking again, only to have that bright mood shattered when Ayase told me Watari and Hisoka had gone out, upon Watari's request for my partner to give him a tour of the place. The sneaky bastard.

And besides, why does he have so much free time anyway? It's not like he's on vacation like we are… Oh, right. There's still that case after all.

One glance at Ayase's direction reminds me that we still have his case to deal with.

"Ah! There they are!" Ayase tugs on my sleeve, pointing to the direction of the park. On a bench partly concealed by the large trunk of a cherry tree was unmistakably Watari, having a nice chat with my partner while enjoying a mouthwatering parfait. Damn them. Enjoying something so yummy without me!

"Let's go." I grab onto Ayase's wrist as we close in on those traitors.

I guess I was too focused on the parfaits… uh, I mean, the two of them, that I almost fell back when Ayase stopped dead in his tracks without warning.

"Ayase? What's wro…" Before I could finish my question, Watari's voice answers it.

"Bon, I didn't mean that he did it. What I'm saying is, we can't ignore the possibility that he's also one of the suspects. He was at the crime scene that night, after all."

Ayase holds on to the trunk of the Sakura right behind their bench, where we can clearly hear their conversation. Damn that Watari, didn't we talk about this already?

"Watari-san, he didn't do it."

The conviction in Hisoka's voice takes me by surprise. And from Ayase's wide eyes, looks like it did him too.

"I… I don't know how to explain it well, but…" Hisoka's hold on the glass containing his almost untouched strawberry parfait tightens. "… It's just, I understand Ayase's heart."

Considering Hisoka's an empath, that statement alone spoke volumes.

Watari sighs. He turns to Hisoka and starts to ruffle his hair. "Well, you have that ability after all. I can't take your word lightly now, can I?" He beams. "All right. I believe you. I'll speak to Tatsumi and Kaichou about it. Hopefully, they'll take your word on it, but I can't make any guarantees whether they'll clear his name or not."

"Thank you, Watari-san." Hisoka smiles. Whenever he does, a strange kind of warmth engulfs my chest, even if that smile isn't directed at me.

"Don't mention it." He pulls back the sleeve of his coat and looks at his watch. "Well, it's almost time for me to go." He stands up, smoothening his coat.

"Ah, what about Tsuzuki?" My partner gets up as well.

"Don't worry about him. He'll probably be happy to finish your parfait for you." He winks. "Oh and when you see him, tell him that he sucks at spying on people." He laughs. With one quick look around to see if there aren't any innocent passers by looking their way, he disappears like he was never there, leaving behind only echoes of his hearty laughter.

"You two can come out now."

How did he…?

"Hi.. Hisoka? You knew…"

_/… tell him that he sucks at spying on people./_

Damn. That. Bastard.

I swear. I'll get back at him for that last unnecessary comment.

"In case you forgot, your partner's an empath."

Oh… Right. Mentally kick myself.

The rustling of grass under Ayase's feet takes my attention back to him as he takes tentative steps toward my partner.

"Hisoka-san…" He turns into a blur of silvery blond as he rushes to my partner and latches himself onto him. I have the feeling I've seen that somewhere before.

"A… Ayase…" Hisoka hugs him back.

"Thank you" He mumbles, soft as a whisper, before momentarily tightening his hold then letting go.

He turns to me with a wide, grin. "Tsuzuki-san, this date was so lame. Next time, I want to go out on a date with Hisoka-san!" He sticks his tongue out at me.

"A date, eh?" Hisoka raises an eyebrow.

Uh-oh.

Hisoka turns to Ayase with a sweet smile. It's the kind of smile that has a deadly aura hanging around it. "I'm glad you learned your lesson, Ayase, it's just no fun to go out with someone so _boring_. We'll go out next time. Just the two of us."

Witness Hisoka's wrath and retaliation unfold right before your eyes, ladies and gentlemen.

"R… right." See me pathetically release a nervous laughter. "Wh… Why don't we go home for now? It's kind of getting late."

"Right!" With a musical chuckle, Ayase holds on to Hisoka's arm and starts pulling him towards the direction of his house. "I can't wait to try what Hisoka-san will cook for dinner."

Heave a deep sigh.

I'm glad those two are getting along.

But…

But…!

Why do I have to be left out huh?

Damn it, Watari! This is all your fault!

* * *

**tbc…?**

In the language of flowers, hibiscus roses mean delicate beauty :p


End file.
